I’m sorry it has taken so long for me to get a post up. It happened that yesterday I got carried away and over ate which threw my system out of whack, and as a result, I spent most of the day in bed. Not something I want to repeat any time soon. The good news is I’m back to normal with no lasting effects.
This little episode alone would be enough to make writing difficult, but there have been other issues as well.
This past week has been difficult. I have felt out of sorts and I just can’t seem to focus on any one thing which might be causing it. There just seems to be a feeling of unease. Whenever I try to follow a thought or emotion, my mind skitters away from it like an ant avoiding a match.
Have you ever found yourself doing any thing possible to keep distracted so you didn’t have to think about an issue or problem? This is what I catch myself doing constantly. Listening to music and podcasts, watching videos or YouTube, reading blogs and articles. Anything so I’m not alone in my head.
I caught a glimpse of something yesterday when some memories popped up of things I did from the time I was in elementary school through high school. A brief flash of understand of why I did those things and then something shut off like a blown breaker. There one second and gone the next, but I was left with feeling of cold fear in my stomach to the point I felt ill.
I guess my mind is working on something in the background I’m not ready to face yet.
It happens. Usually that’s when I let myself be distracted because if I try to sleep through it I’ll have nightmares – yes, sure, it’ll be a much shorter episode, but the nightmares are *bad*. I actually woke myself up kicking the side door to our bedroom – and wound up putting a crack in the poor defenseless thing. o_0
No nightmares per se, though a lot of vivid dreams. Good thing is I haven’t broken anything. As it happened, I slept so much because I made myself sick eating too much spinach/artichoke dip…
This resonates a lot for me. Just take comfort that even when you cant consciously be doing the work, apparently your subconscious is!
True
Hi Kira-
I just saw a commercial that on the Katie Couric show today’s topic is Growing up Transgender. Not sure if you can catch the show – but – if you are interested:
http://www.katiecouric.com/on-the-show/2013/02/26/trapped-in-the-wrong-body-growing-up-transgender-2/
Thank you, I’ll take a look.
Yes, for sure I use distractions to cope with realities. They can run from doing housework I hate (but not as much I hate what I want to be distracted from) to one of my creative passions. In the end these distractions seem to help me in some way, perhaps just by me taking more time to work things out.
Same here.