This is question which as been bothering me for years, long before I rediscovered my cross dressing issues. I hope that someone can comment and give me a direction for coming to understand this aspect of cross dressing.
I have heard that term; letting the girl inside out. That is dressing as a way to express the feminine qualities many feel. I can understand using a feminine name while dressed, it would be confusing to do otherwise, but some have said that they become a different person when dressed.
What I am wondering is if many of you keep these personalities separate? That is, would people who know your male side recognize you when female? Not just from looks, but from from mannerisms, way of acting or speaking? I guess the best example would be is there a difference between guy mode and girl mode that someone could pick up on even online?
For myself, when online I am in full Kira mode. I don’t bother trying to pass in person, I know that isn’t reasonable, so I go online and let Kira speak. The thing is, I have tried to untangle the two sides, to set boundaries, so that I can move one or the other into the background as a way to relieve stress, especially from my male mode, but I have found that they are so closely linked that it’s impossible.
I am Kira and Kira is me. I cannot simply get into clothes and “become” Kira any more than I can take them off and “become” him. I already am.
I don’t know if that makes any sense, but it’s the best way I can explain things.