Veteran of the Psychic Wars

 

I first heard “Veteran of the Psychic Wars” when I saw “Heavy Metal” the movie, (in the theater no less). I went out and bought the album just to have that one song because it fit me perfectly. It still does today, all these years later.

(I’ve included the lyrics at the end of this post).

So why am I talking about a song from a movie soundtrack that is over thirty years old? Because even today I find that I am still I am a “veteran of the psychic wars” from my youth. It doesn’t matter how old I get, there will always be a part of me that is that scarred child.

Today I am on a different path than I could have ever imagined even a few short months ago. It is a path that I must travel, but I do so with the baggage that my former self had collected long before he knew I was here. That includes all of his scars. That’s just part of being human. We can find ourselves walking as new people in old skins. This can cause problems, as I found out. I had thought that I had set those old things aside, but they are still there, waiting to trip me up if I’m not paying attention.

That is why I could never make it, indeed, never had made it this far without support. I am fortunate to have two wonderful people in my life who have helped me, supported me, and yes chastised me when I needed it.

One is with me physically, the other in spirit, but but I love them both. I can never thank them enough for what they have done for me and I am forever in their debt.

This road we travel is difficult, never think otherwise, but we can make it. One step at a time, with people who love us despite all our flaws and baggage.

Let me say “Thank You” to both of you. It is too small a thing for all you mean to me.

Veteran of the Psychic Wars Lyrics:

You see me now, a veteran of a thousand psychic wars,

I’ve been living on the edge so long

Where the winds of limbo roar,

And I’m young enough to look at

And far too old to see

All the scars are on the inside

I’m not sure if there’s anything left of me.

Don’t let these shakes go on

It’s time we had a break from it,

It’s time we had some leave

We’ve been living in the flames.

We’ve been eating up our brains

Oh, please don’t let these shakes go on.

You ask me why I’m weary, why I can’t speak to you

You blame me for my silence

Say it’s time I changed and grew.

But the war is still going on dear

And there’s no end that I know

And I can’t say if we’re ever…

I can’t say if we’re ever going to be free.

Don’t let these shakes go on

It’s time we had a break from it,

It’s time we had some leave

We’ve been living in the flames,

We’ve been eating up our brains

Oh, please don’t let these shakes go on.

You see me now a veteran of a thousand psychic wars

My energy is spent at last

And my armor is destroyed,

I have used up all my weapons and I’m helpless and bereaved

Wounds are all I’m made of

Did I hear you say that this is victory?

Don’t let these shakes go on

It’s time we had a break from it,

Send me to the rear

Where the tides of madness swell

And been sliding into hell,

Oh, please don’t let these shakes go on

Don’t let these shakes go on

Don’t let these shakes go on

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