Today has not been one of my better days. I’m an emotional mess and my mind is a tangled knot of questions, doubts, and fears.
At this point I don’t have a goal to aim for, I really don’t know what I hope to find at the end of this part of my journey. What’s more, I find that am really struggling with understanding how I think of myself.
Here I am Kira, a woman seeking to regain a life that was stolen from me when I was too young to fight back. In the “real” world I am still G.
The problem is that even here part of me still thinks of myself as G while in the real world I know that Kira is there. There is so much bleed over between these two that I’m not sure where one really ends and the other begins.
Physical reality no longer matches up with metal reality. It’s not dysphoria so much as it’s confusion.
I wish I could take a few years off from reality so that I could let my mind work through all this.