Setting The Pace

 

Ever have “one of those day’s”? Well, I’m having one of those lives. It’s okay though, I prefer things this way to how they were not too long ago. The issue now is learning how best to deal with the changes that have happened and indeed are still happening. I need to find a comfortable pace that allows for those changes while giving me time to come to understand what they mean for me and those around me.

Until now I’ve been caught in a wild ride down the side of a mountain, bouncing this way and that. If I don’t get myself aimed in the right direction I’ll find myself sailing through open space with a nasty ending awaiting a few thousand feet below.

I chose the opening image because all of the things I find myself dealing with are in my head. This is a mental struggle to understand myself, who I am, who I want to be, where I’m going and where I want to be.

That last one is the toughest to answer and frankly I don’t know.

Another battle is between the person that I was, who I am now, and who I hope to be. I am still dealing with issues that lead to my coming out. It’s often a day to day struggle, but I know that the effort will be worth it when I finally reach a point where I am at peace with myself. I’m no where near that yet, but I’m confident that I can get there.

The most important thing for now is follow the advice a friend gave me;

Step back, Take a deep breath, and Slow down.

Everything will work out if I don’t push it.

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