Just A Strange Day



Today has been really strange. 

Personally, I would describe the day as mushy… though I know that doesn’t make sense.

My thoughts seem to be padded in cotton, nothing is urgent or pressing, Nothing has made me feel anxious or even uncomfortable.

I spent the entire day trying to figure out what I could post about and really nothing came to mind. I read other posts and even spent time on one forums that I frequent. 

The only thing that caught my attention was a thread dealing with the issue of being TG without the driving need to transition physically.

That is where I am right now, and I read more than a few people who have come to terms with their feelings on the matter. People who were where I am at one point, that is feeling as if they didn’t fit into the TG conversation because they didn’t share the experience of going through physical tradition. That maybe they weren’t really TG at all because all they had read, the only conversation they had seen, was about those who were not only going through that physical transition, but were also spending more and more time living as their target gender while they were not.

I understand those feelings completely. Time after time I have questioned if I am TG when I am reading about those going through the process of physical transition while I do not have that driving need.

My needs are more in regards to my mental and emotional transition. 

There are many reasons why I’m not concerned with my physical transition, reasons that I cannot do anything about and that I am coming to accept. My mental and emotional transition is another matter all together. 

That is something that I can work on, it is something that I can get help with. It is something that I want and need to become comfortable with, it is something I want to fully accept and embrace.

4 thoughts on “Just A Strange Day

  1. Truth be told, I feel the same as you on the matter of physical transition. What I mean is, I don’t believe I will ever come to a point where surgery will become an absolute need. Making sense of the emotional and mental is just as essential, which is what I require clarity on as well. I’m glad you’re in a place where you know what matters most in your heart and what you are seeking to find in the days to come.


    1. Ren’Ai,
      I am beginning to believe that old saying that beauty comes from the inside. If I can’t accept myself inside, then what I might do to the outside is pointless.



  2. This process is one of change – unfortunately often no fluid. Many TG’s find it enough to say how they feel and deal with it internally, many partially change and others have surgery. It is a world of greys – not for many a binary choice.
    I had many twists and turns before deciding that I had to transition completely, but that was after much time and soul searching which often pushed me to the edges.
    Support and understanding

    1. Juno,

      Thank you. It can be difficult to come to grips with the different levels of transition. Some are mental, others emotional, and then there is the physical.

      I don’t know how far down this road I will need to travel. What I think is acceptable today may very well change with time, but I have to accept myself as I am at this moment, and to understand that there are and will continue to be reasons why some things might not work for me.

      Best regards,


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