A Path Already Walked

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I realize now that I need to go back to the beginning of this blog and read everything I have written. To once again walk down those paths that have led me to this point.

Until just the other day, this was something I hadn’t thought that I needed to do. Something that in some ways I was scared to so. That I am still scared to do. There are things written that i don’t want to face again. To think about. To remember.

But I have to. 

This is one of the keys to understanding myself, to remembering the things I have learned.

There is a great deal of pain in those pages, written in the middle of the night when I was lost in the storm.

In those first hectic days, I thought my only issue was with cross dressing… Boy, I couldn’t have been further off the mark.

As time passed and more an more memories came to the surface, I quickly realized that I had bigger things to deal with and I am still dealing with them all these months later.

I am finding that I will have to take this process very slowly, just going back to those memories is causing me some problems and I am quickly feeling overwhelmed.

I have to remember to take this one small step at a time, and when I need to, to step back and take a breather. I don’t have to do everything in a single day. 

4 thoughts on “A Path Already Walked

  1. Wise, you are. Do you see “progress” (whatever that means to you) at all? more complete understanding? where you’ve been able to move beyond <>? Looking back can be difficult, for sure………..

    Breathe…………breathe………..breathe

    1. I’m not sure if I would call it progress. More like a little clearer understanding of some of the things that have driven me for all these years, though I’m still struggling with what to do with what I know now. One thing that I have come to admit is that I can’t do this alone, that is a hugh step forward from before.

      1. I too find that “what to do” with what I now know & understand is a potent question. Everything is different, once you KNOW. So, the old, habitual responses can no longer be counted on.

        In any case, the journey doesn’t promise us anything, does it?? haha

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