Yes, I know, a third post, but in thinking about the past few days I had to wonder what set this off? Of course, my life being as it is, it could have been nothing at all, but I think I remembered one thing which might have started this whole mess.
Last week I got my first manicure and I am quite happy with the results. Needless to say, this meant someone was going to say something to try and ruin it for me… no ups without a down, right? In this case it was a female coworker, the same who has made comments about my nails before. It took her only about an hour or so in which we had been working together for her to notice my nails… I don’t know why she insists on looking at my hands, but I guess it matters to her… anyway, she noticed and just had… had, to say something she thought would be degrading.
Her: “You need to cut your nails, they look like a woman’s.”
Me: Thinking, “That’s the idea, silly”
What I said: “I just got a manicure, are you crazy?”
Her: “They look girly. Men don’t have nails like that.”
Me: Thinking “If you only knew!”
What I said: “ I don’t care what someone thinks, if they don’t like it, they can kiss my @$$.”
At which point she had enough sense to shut up and drop it.
Needless to say I was rather upset for the rest of the night. Why couldn’t this woman just keep her thoughts to herself? I don’t know, maybe she’s jealous. She has fake nails.
I wanted to so badly to ask her and then remind her, “Sweetie, at least mine are real!” Of course I can’t tell her so and it makes me crazy sometimes.
It’s one of the things which washes through my mind every night at work; I can’t be myself there. I can’t just open up and let this woman know just who she is trying to insult and why it will never work the way she expects.
Speaking of which, why do people equate being feminine with an insult? Especially another woman? Sure, I know men will use this to try and humiliate another male, but why do women do it as well? I mean, what she is saying is; “I am going to try and insult you, to degrade you and humiliate you by making to equal to myself.” What kind of sense does that make?
Maybe I’m missing something. Maybe this is a glimpse of the dark side of a gender binary. Maybe this is something cultural.
Whatever the reason, I. Just. Don’t. Get. It.