Bigender, Children, Cross Dress, Emotions, Family, Gender, Kira, Life, Personal, Thoughts, Transgender

Thoughts From A Day Out

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Sorry it took so long for me to get this post written and up, it’s been a long day and things have settled to the point where I could take the time to think about something to write. Most of the day was spent out shopping for shoes and boots for the boys who, it seems, wear through them at an incredible rate. Then after returning home my oldest had an accident which resulted in a storm window being broken and me having to clean up large shards of glass… which was accompanied by me having to reassure him accidents happen and he wasn’t in any trouble. Not very conductive to writing, but well, life does these things from time to time.

While out in the stores, I made a point of avoiding drooling over things I would have loved to buy, though I did see some things I wouldn’t mind having in my own closet. The problem was it made me realize something about myself… I have very expensive taste. Everything I saw induced sticker shock even when something was on sale.  A pair of cute boots marked half off and the tag still said it was over $200… are you kidding me? I just can’t see spending that kind of change on a single pair of boots, I don’t care how cute they are…. then again, if I had the money burning a hole in my pocket, I just might…. and live in regret for weeks. I saw other things, a darling button down top which was as soft as down, a pair of pants I just knew would look great on me… but again, I can’t see spending almost $60 on a single pair, 30% off or no 30% off…. I thought the after Christmas sales were suppose to be awesome… maybe if you don’t mind maxing out a credit card or two… This is the reason I decided a long time ago to shop thrift stores during the winter and garage sales during the summer. I can find great things I really love for pennies on the dollar. I wonder though, does this mean I have to turn in my girl card? 

I did have one small setback though, turns out my one ear piercing has closed, so now I am going to need to have it redone… which sort of sucks. 

Another little minor glitch was my feelings as we were out and about… I was pretty much in guy mode and watching all the people around me just living their lives, free to be themselves got to me a little. Here I was having to act like something I’m not because so many of them wouldn’t be able to accept who I really am… I found it not so much depressing as I did sad. I know the thought of it not being fair crossed my mind, but I also know life isn’t fair and I just had to suck it up and deal with it. After all, it isn’t as if they did anything to me personally. 

I do want to end this on a positive note so I’ll mention the none thing I did get today, something A bought for me… 

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These are Joe Boxer Women’s Eden Plush Bootie Slippers and they are divine! Plush on the outside and cushy on the inside. They keep my feet nice and toasty without being too hot. I am planning on wearing these all winter  and I’ll be smiling the whole time. 🙂

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10 thoughts on “Thoughts From A Day Out

  1. That looks super comfy…I can picture me in it bundled on a couch with easy laid back sweater and just chilling. You are not alone in eyeing expensive things at the store…every time I go to TJMAXX, my eyes go to the super pricey bags I can never afford lol.

  2. I have the same problem. If there’s something I like on the rack, you can almost guarantee it’ll be the most expensive thing there. I did luck out finding a sparkly purple sweater to go with my sparkly purple shoes; I thought it would be expensive, but it ended up being two-thirds off the original price.

    And those slippers look very cozy. Anything that keeps the feet warm is a good thing.

    • I love it when an outfit comes together without breaking the bank. I fell in love with the slippers the moment I saw them and they are very comfy and warm, I wish I could wear them all the time!

  3. Congratulations, Kira! Every little victory is just another step forward.

    I had a thought and I want to share it with you without sounding like I am offering advice.

    One of the stories I had to give up, for my own sanity, was that there is really no such thing as “girl mode” versus “boy mode, because all that did for me was to keep me stuck in gender binary beliefs that were imposed on me by society for my entire life and had nothing to do with my truth as I was now realizing for myself. This meant that my thoughts are always in “me mode” which, for me at least, just so happens to also be “girl mode” all of the time and which has absolutely nothing to do with my gender identity. Just my thought!
    Kisses, Deanna Joy

    • I know what you mean, for me it less of a matter of seeing my thoughts as being in “modes”, doing so causes nothing but problems… in this case, being in “boy mode” refers to my mode of dress, which in this case was things bought in the mens department. I am working on replacing a lot of things with those bought in the women’s department, but even there I am seeing it as being sort of silly considering so many things look the same no matter where you buy them, such as T-shirts, sweatshirts, and jeans. I think I will change the way I talk about such things in the future.

      Hugs,

      Kira

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