think it is fair to say gender is a very complicated aspect of what it means to be human. The very fact there is now so much heated discussion on the issue should be as proof of that. Any dialogue which can be started must be approached with an open mind and a willingness to learn. Attempting to engage in talks with a predetermined assumption as to a correctness of view, with no room for compromise, accomplishes nothing.
One of the ways in which we can approach these discussions and especially the arguments which arise from them is to seek to educate ourselves. I don’t mean simply reading Wikipedia, but taking the time to do in depth research. The problem, if you want to see it as such, is that even with the power of the internet at your disposal, it takes time and patience to find usable and (most important), reliable, information which you can then refer people in support of your position. This is what I am trying to deal with at the moment. I am doing research online in an effort to better educate myself, to be able to write competently and convincingly about the issues which face Trans* people and to refute the claims by those who seek to invalidate us.
I have found one site which I I am currently reading and so far it seems as good of a starting point as any;
Understanding Gender: http://www.genderspectrum.org/understanding-gender
If anyone has other useful resources, links, books, videos, whatever, please feel free to share them. I’m sure I’m not the only one who is seeking to understand this issue.
Thanks to (e)m for pointing me to this article from Natalie Reed: http://freethoughtblogs.com/nataliereed/2012/07/16/signifying-gender/