A Long Process Ahead

My thoughts have been centered on my upcoming appointment. It is going to be my first serious hurdle to the future. I’m not thinking of what will happen if the doctor refuses to start treatment but to how my life might be changed with a single shot or pill. Yes, I understand this isn’t some magic cure all, it is going to be a long process which will takes years. Yet for all intents and purposes, a new chapter in my life will begin with the first treatment. The future is never certain, but at least I know I will have done everything I could toward becoming the person, the woman, I know myself to be.

Having said that, A said something the other day which caught in the back of my mind. It wasn’t until last night the full impact of her words struck me.

“It seems all you need in (our state) to change your ID is boobs.”

I just brushed it off, “Well, you need a little more than that.”

She agreed, you need to have a doctor or therapist sign off and I’m sure there are other requirements, but I do remember reading not too long ago that our state no longer requires a person have surgery to get a name change or have their gender changed on official documents.

Apparently she read the same thing.

(I can’t imagine where her thoughts are on all of this and I am not going to dare to make assumptions, I will let you draw your own conclusions.)

I told her, and my lack of thinking so far ahead shows, I’m not worried about that part of things yet. I need to get through this appointment first. If it happens, then it happens.

10 thoughts on “A Long Process Ahead

  1. Interesting post, Kira.
    I’m not sure how things work in your part of the world, but if your doctor “refuses to start treatment” then simply find another doctor. In the context of the Standards of Care, then it isn’t one doctors decision but requires co-operation between a psychiatrist and a physician. Do you not have gender clinics in your area?
    If you have been having psychotherapy, and you don’t have any major mental health issues, and you don’t have physical issues that preclude hormones then they should start you on cross-sex hormones, if that is what you want.
    It sounds to me as if A is very supportive of you and your journey. Probably important to talk to her about her thoughts, as you say “not going to dare to make assumptions”, her thoughts and feelings are important as well, don’t you think?
    I hope all goes well with your appointment, I wish you all the best.

    1. When I speak of refusing to start treatment, I mean because of potential health risks and family history. I am in therapy, but she isn’t a psychiatrist, so she cannot make medical decisions, only recommendations, which will be considered by my family doctor. If I do decide to officially change my personal documentation, I might need a referral to someone higher up the food chain.

      As for A… she doesn’t really open up about her thoughts and feelings, even when pushed. In fact, she tends to get very defensive and it can make life… well, difficult. So when I say I won’t make assumptions, it’s because she isn’t ready to open up to me yet.

      As for any gender support… there isn’t any here, goodness knows I’ve looked. The closest specialists or support groups I can find are about three hours away which makes them impractical in terms of time and money.

      1. Kira, thanks for the clarification and I must admit I should have read your previous posts more carefully. I will put more effort into getting up to speed on your journey so far. I really like your style of writing and communicating. I am very interested in your current situation as I am trying to understand where I want to be and how that fits with the rest of my life.
        Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences.

      2. No worries, I know my situation is complicated and the potential for confusion isn’t helped due to my having to be so careful in what I write about and the way I Have to write about my experiences.

        I began this blog in January of last year and have posted every day, sometimes as many as four times a day. To date, I have over 1,000 posts. Some of them you can skip, if you wish, as they are reblogs or poetry, but there I still many of them which deal with my journey so far. So if your not up to speed, or you miss something, believe me when I tell you I understand! 🙂

        I wish you all the best on your own journey and look forward to watching as you travel. 🙂



  2. Good luck Kira! That’s definitely a huge step. Despite all the reading of TG blogs, forums, the ideas in SciFi, it still seems like it’s an idea that isn’t possible.

  3. Even if you can’t figure out A’s motivations, trust that they are in alignment with your process and always express gratitude along the way. As to changing your name, it is not all that big of a deal, at least it wasn’t for me, because as far as I know, you can change your name in any state to anything you want within reason as long as you aren’t doing it to commit fraud or to avoid legal or financial obligations. When the judge asked my reason, I simply told him that I was transgender and wanted a feminine name. The process takes about a month as you must publish a legal notice in your local newspaper and wait until the judge’s clerk can schedule you for a hearing. I was able to fill out all the forms online and print them out at home to take into court when I filed a petition of name change. If your state allows a gender marker to be changed with a doctor’s okay you can probably download the form yourself from your state MVD and have a doctor sign it in the meantime. Always present yourself as your preferred gender as it lends an air of authenticity. Godspeed!

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