I woke up before anyone else, so I have a few minutes to write before the day gets busy. Odds are we are going to have to leave before the end of the day, thankfully we have a place to stay. Most of our neighbors are also ready to leave at a moments notice and everyone is a bit on edge. People have already been evacuated from some lower lying areas not too far from here, though they had less time to pack up than we have had. There is a major business just down the street and at first they were going to sandbag but part way through yesterday they gave up and decided to pack up instead. Needless to say, this doesn’t bode well for what they expect to happen. A number of smaller businesses have also packed up seeking to save as much as possible. There is a lot we aren’t going to be able to move, I checked into getting a moving van yesterday and there isn’t a single one available within 50 miles. So we are just going to get all of our personal things which can’t be replaced out. Everything else is expendable. As I told A, it’s all just stuff and it can be replaced, all that matters to me is that everyone is safe. If we do have to leave I’ll be sure to post a note as soon as I can just to let you know we are safe.
Another thing yesterday was I had a therapy session. I was going to cancel for obvious reasons, but it would have meant waiting at least another two weeks before I could be seen and both A and I thought it best to keep this one.
First, I am going to refer to my therapist as “J” from now on. I should have been doing this from the beginning and I really don’t know why I didn’t. I did talk to her about this and she is fine with it.
We discussed what happened with my doctor and what it means as far as my transition is concerned and my reaction to it. As I mentioned before, I was disappointed, but it is something which I can get past. It just means exploring different options. We also talked about my finally getting treatment for depression and what it might mean for my wellbeing going forward. Having this recognized has been a weight lifted off my shoulders and I look forward to seeing what life looks like from a “normal” viewpoint. After all, my “normal” was anything but. By our next appointment I will have been on medication fro more than the three weeks I have been advised it will take for it to take full affect and I am interested to see just how much of a difference it makes.
We also discussed the understanding I have gained in regards to a number of personal issues, mostly dealing with my emotional state and how it impacts my relationships. I spoke about this before and I really can’t go into a lot of detail here simply because it would turn this post into a full length novel. What I will do is point you again to what triggered this line of thought. It was a podcast which you can either find in iTunes by searching for “Off the Air – Chick McGee” or by going here. Download “Episode 041 Marc Marion”. I promise you, it is powerful. I have listened to it several times now and it always leaves me in tears. There is so much which is discussed in which I can see myself. Sometimes it takes something like this to really open your eyes.
The final part of the session dealt with the relationship between A and I. This is something I’m not comfortable writing about here because I really don’t don’t think it is my place to share such things with the whole world, even if she gave me permission, which she hasn’t. There may come a point at which I will discuss all of this, but now is not the time.
Okay, people are getting up and so it is time to get to work. I will try and do an update at some point, but if not, then I will make sure to write something which I can post for tomorrow.