I have been struggling to work on IdentyLeak for awhile now. One thing has been in understanding my potential audience. It was suggested I write it to my children as a way to explain who I am, but this approach never felt right. I thought of speaking to a room full of strangers and how I would give a speech about my life, yet this didn’t feel right either. At last I decided to do it as a full blown coming out to a long time friend of mine. Someone I have known since Junior High, actually longer, but we were close friend for many of our school years. We haven’t spoken in a number of years now, not since my mother died. The thing is, I know there are things I have told him about myself or that I have done over the years which he simply could never bring himself to accept as the truth, so I’m pretty sure he would be shocked if I were to sit him down and have an honest conversation. That he would refuse to believe me, even if I were to fully transition first, is a given. He’s just that kind of person… sure of himself and arrogant enough to believe what he thinks he knows to be the only truth regardless of the evidence standing right in front of him.
Don’t get me wrong here, I don’t think ill of him, though he has tried my patience more than once. It is simply I know what sort of person he is. I know what he has done in the past and has never shown any desire to change, so I think it safe to assume I can predict his reactions now. If by chance he ever happens across this blog or any of my writing, then he can prove me wrong.
Of course he knew me by another name, and as it happens he even unfriended me of Facebook without realizing what he was doing, but if he took the time to read any of what I have spoken of regarding my past, I know he could put the pieces together.
All in all, I now have a starting point and a person to speak to as I write. The result is I have written just shy of 3500 words in a single day and I already have my thoughts turned toward what I want to write tomorrow.