2013 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 24,000 times in 2013. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 9 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.

Click here to see the complete report.

Transgender Medical Research, Provider Education Lacking

I found this on sciencedaily

Dec. 11, 2013 — As a result of the limited transgender medical training offered at medical schools, very few physicians possess the knowledge needed to treat transgendered patients. This circumstance is the topic of a paper in this month’s issue Current Opinion in Endocrinology, Diabetes and Obesity.Share This:

 Joshua Safer, MD, FACP, associate professor of medicine at Boston University School of Medicine (BUSM) and Director of the Endocrinology Fellowship Training Program at Boston Medical Center, is the senior author of the piece which includes guidelines for transgender treatment and also references the impact of recently piloted teaching on the topic at BUSM.

There are approximately 900,000 transgender persons living in the U.S. These individuals have a unique set of medical needs because their gender identities do not correlate with their biological sex. Medical interventions such as hormone therapy are required to appropriately and safely address the health of transgender patients.

According to Safer while many of the treatment regimens for transgender patients are fairly straightforward, very few physicians have the knowledge needed to treat these individuals. In fact, many physicians share the misconception that transgender treatment is a psychological issue and that gender identity can be reversed — an assumption that has been discredited.

“Because medically appropriate high-quality care for transgender individuals is not taught in most medical curricula, too few physicians have the requisite knowledge and comfort level for treatment of transgender individuals,” explained Safer.

Safer has recently piloted a transgender medicine component to the pathophysiology curriculum for medical school students at BUSM. According to pre- and post-course surveys published this summer in the journal Endocrine Practice, there was a 67 percent improvement among students enrolled in his course regarding their confidence with transgender medicine.

Safer is working to develop comprehensive transgender medicine training curricula for medical students, physician trainees, teaching physicians and other health care professionals. to address the specific biological distinctions of the patient group and evidence-based treatment paradigms derived from that biology. This training program would increase access to safe care for transgender patients.


Story Source:The above story is based on materials provided by Boston University Medical Center.Note: Materials may be edited for content and length. For further information, please contact the source cited above.


Journal Reference:Ivy H. Gardner, Joshua D. Safer. Progress on the road to better medical care for transgender patients. Current Opinion in Endocrinology & Diabetes and Obesity, 2013; 20 (6): 553 DOI: 10.1097/01.med.0000436188.95351.4d

I Used My Male Name Today

I used my male name today.

The when and where are not important. How doing so made me think and feel is. One simple word, nothing more. Something I have done countless times over so many years. This time. This time was different. It felt awkward and strange. It felt alien and wrong. It wasn’t who I am. I’m not sure it ever was. It was almost an epiphany, yet not. Almost deja vu, yet not.

Somewhere in my heart I knew this day would come. 

It seems I still held onto the thought I could close Pandora’s Box. Thought I could, when push came to shove, return at least outwardly to what I had been before. The thought I could do so with little or no consequence. Yet I knew. I knew a time would come when it just wasn’t possible any longer.

I used my male name today. When, where, even why are pointless details. 

As soon as the word was out of my mouth I knew.

I knew I could no longer use it and think nothing of it. 

It wasn’t me. It felt as if I were lying to the person in front of me. 

It felt wrong.

As the day passed, traveling here and there, I knew something more. I knew I couldn’t face the world half way. I couldn’t hope to dance the razors edge without getting cut.

I must face things head on, as myself. Not hiding even behind a baseball cap. 

I just can’t do it, no matter if it seems the right thing to do at the time. Not if it seems to be the easier path.

It will never be right again.

The easiest path is rarely the correct way, leading to greater pain and suffering than taking on a challenge head on from the start.

Some Thoughts On The Nature Of The World

I’m not sure where I’m going with this so if it gets too confusing, I apologize.

In my last post I said I wasn’t complaining, I wasn’t and I’m not. I guess I’m just confused as to how people respond to me. I don’t mind being seen as androgynous, and I love being properly gendered regardless of how I happen to look. The main thing is I don’t see much of a difference between how I am now compared to before, other than maybe more fully embracing who I am on the inside and this is being reflected in outer ways which people are noticing.

I have spent the past two years reading pretty much anything I can find regarding gender, the differences between masculine and feminine, between how society views the male/female binary. At times I have felt liberated by this knowledge and others I have felt smothered.

It seems so pointless, all of the “you should be this way” or “you should be this way.” What are such things based on? Our perceived understanding of what it means to be male or female?

Just where does such “understanding” come from? Our parents, grandparents, siblings, family? What about advertising? Television? Movies? Books? Magazines? Radio? the Internet? Is it just part of the natural order?

I think it’s a combination of all these things. Bits and pieces pasted together as we grow from children into adults. For good or ill we tend to follow what we see and hear. All of the little cues and lessons, many we don’t even notice until it’s habit.

This usually isn’t an issue as the majority of people tend to fit into their respective boxes, blue or pink. (Though not too long ago even those were reversed to what we know today). It is when a person doesn’t find such things comfortable or acceptable, when we push the boundaries or break them all together. Then we see these constructs for what they are. Yet we will try, sometimes dying in the attempt, to be the same as everyone else. Too often not having the words to explain how we feel or why. Turning ourselves inside out to be something we are not and never were. To fit in. To be “normal” even though no one can tell us just what “normal” is.

If one insists on claiming the majority as the measure of what is normal, I wonder if they realize a few things?

It is normal to be other than Caucasian.

It is normal to live someplace other than North America or Europe.

It is normal to speak another language than English, Yes, even the bastardized version we speak in the U.S. of A.

It is normal to follow another faith besides Christianity.

Unfortunately, as with so many other things, the majority of people in the U.S. seem to believe they are the center of the universe and everything revolves around them. So what is “normal” to the average caucasian, heterosexual, Christian, American must be “normal” for everyone else as well and if it’s not? Well then they are clearly wrong, deprived, mistaken, mislead, misguided, and not capable of understanding the true nature of the world.

They feel comfortable sitting back and passing judgment on any and all who are not just like themselves. Who think differently, feel differently, love differently. Those who find themselves outside their neat little boxes in their neat little, orderly world.

These are the people who will swear to their god above they are not racist because they have a “black” friend. They are not homophobic because they have a “gay” friend. They aren’t bigots even when their every word and action is dripping with hatred and scorn, after all, everyone has a right to live their lives right? Only as long as it meets their expectations and approval.

When faced with something they do not understand and have not experienced for themselves, then it must be wrong. A delusion. A mental illness. A sickness. A conspiracy. A trick or game. Never mind it might be something they could learn about. Come to understand with some effort. Nothing worth having is ever easy and this includes opening your mind to possibilities you might never have considered.

It’s much easier to be dismissive.

To be hateful.

To be hurtful.

To ridicule.

To scorn.

To belittle.

So much easier than making the effort to be an understanding, thoughtful, considerate, human being.

To actually practicing what you preach… “To do unto others as you would have done to you.”

But I guess such things are just too much to ask, aren’t they?

Am I Missing Something? (Update)

First off let me say I am not complaining, I am however, a little confused. Maybe different eyes will see what ever it is I seem to be missing when I look at myself. Now, I do admit to being critical of my appearance especially when I’m ‘al natural.’ The truth is I expect to be greeted with male pronouns and generally treated like a guy whenever I go out like this. What still throws me a little is being treated as a woman and addressed with female pronouns. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve pretty much given up on the idea of ‘guy mode’ vs ‘girl mode’, I act pretty much the same no matter how I think I am presenting.

Having just said all of this…

I went to Costco again today and again I was walking. First off a gentleman I didn’t know started taking to me after he had caught up to me, and while he didn’t use female pronouns, I had the distinct impression he thought he was speaking to a woman. Then in the store, I was greeted with female pronouns, and seriously, I have noticed women treat me differently, greet me differently, and just seem to be more open and relaxed around me than I ever remember.

Maybe I’m making more of this than it really is. Maybe it nothing more than wishful thinking on my part, but I’m including a picture of how I went out today. (It isn’t the greatest, but my middle boy took it of me so please be kind.) 🙂

IMG 0492

So you tell me, guy? girl, neither?

Oh, and this was all after being mistaken for A on the phone this morning…


Add this one with my ‘enhancers’ which give me an A cup. I wasn’t wearing them earlier though…

A Last Christmas Message

I was going to write something about how wonderful this Christmas has been, then I saw something which made me realize, as important as today has been to me and my journey, there are things which are more so. Not just to me but to so many Trans people out there around the world…

You see, even during this season of loving and giving, of being one with our fellow humans; there are people who willfully wallow in hatred. Who refuse to look beyond their prejudices, to see a world which is greater than their limited vision.

These people bristle at being called ‘bigot’ or hater or intolerant. Like the insane person who refuses to believe they are insane. Yet if one were to change a few words, to take the context of their rhetoric from the issue of gender and apply it to sexual orientation or God forbid, race, you would be tempted to see them standing at a pulpit or in a sheet before a burning cross. 

They claim they do not hate and yet their words are intended to incite hatred in others. To continue a endless cycle of intolerance and exclusion. They have implied they would prefer Transgender people didn’t exist. Some have even spoken of locking us away… To have us disappear from society all together.

They often claim to be part of the LGB community, yet they use the same arguments, slurs, and slanders which were once leveled against homosexuals as if they are appropriate for use against Transgender people.. Strange when one looks back now at how such things have been disproven, shown to be invalid or incorrect and how they use this information in their own defense and continued struggle for an equality they would gladly deny anyone else.

They refute the growing scientific evidence which is proving Transgenderism is real. Claiming it is pseudo-science, or faked or taken out of context. Again the same discredited arguments used by the opponents of gay rights.

They look wherever they can to find snippets of statements, arguments, and defenses to put together a collage of supposed wrongs and proof their “enemy” is evil at heart and out to do nefarious things when the truth is just the opposite.

They don’t care how much what they are doing hurts others. How it leads to violence and death. After all, the weapon is not in their hands, refusing to believe for a moment their hands are every much as bloody.

It is a sad truth, even if some of these people take the time to read this, they will react with hatred toward the things I have said because the truth is like Holy Water to them, it burns their conscience…

On this day when we should be looking to one another with love and support, seeking to give comfort where we can, this festering hatred has no place among us.

Set aside your weapons, weather they be wood, steel, or words. Take time to see those around you as human beings, deserving of the same respect and support as you ask for yourself.