Transsexual differences caught on brain scan – life – 26 January 2011 – New Scientist

An older story but still relevant.

Transsexual differences caught on brain scan – life – 26 January 2011 – New Scientist: “”

(Via.)

What’s Under There?

I haven’t spoken too much about those things I need to feel more comfortable with myself and my appearance. I’m not sure why… maybe I’m a little embarrassed I need the help?

Anyway, I thought I would share some of my little secrets…

First off, a needed boost in the chest department.

Enhancers

Lingerie Solutions – Enhancers Silicone Bust Enlarging Bra Pads

I’m so glad A found these. They have made a real difference in my self confidence and comfort level.

They aren’t anything fancy such as the many breast forms out there, but they provide what I need and the cost was much more affordable,

From the Wal-Mart website:

Lingerie Solutions-Enhancers Bust Enlarging Silicone Bra Pads are push-up bra pads that allow you to accent your natural shape while giving you added push-up and cleavage. The bra pads are made with a 100 percent polyurethane covering and a 100 percent silicone interior. To use, simply insert these silicone bra enhancers into the bra pockets.Lingerie Solutions – Enhancers Silicone Bust Enlarging Bra Pads:100% polyurethane covering with 100% silicone interiorAccent your natural shape while giving you added push-up and cleavageSimply insert the enhancers into the bra pockets.

They are very comfortable and after awhile you forget they aren’t a part of you.

 

As Seen on TV Genie Bra XL, Black/Nude, 2-Pack (I think everything in Wal-Mart is “As Seen On TV” these days.)

Genie bra

From the Wal-Mart website:

Designed for comfort, support and style, this As Seen On TV Genie Bra XL makes a star-quality foundation for your wardrobe. Featuring a woven everlast comfort stretch fabric and form-fitting seamless construction, this 2-pack Black/Nude As Seen on TV Genie Bras will provide you with all-day comfort. The cups of this woven bra stretch to conform to your shape, and it has a magic pouch to slip in support pads for extra lift and coverage. The wide comfort-life band prevents rolling. With no wires or hooks, the As Seen on TV Genie Bra XL is machine washable and is designed to retain its shape through the wash.As Seen on TV Genie Bra XL, Black/Nude, 2-Pack:Woven everlast comfort stretch fabricForm-fitting seamless constructionCups stretch to conform to your shapeMagic pouch to slip in support pads for extra lift and coverageNo wires or hooksWide comfort-life band — no more rollingMachine washable — never loses shape.

 

And the real Tour de Force, which is in transit as we speak…

Underworks Rear and Hip Padded Brief

Underworks Padded Brief

From their website:

An instant derriere and rear enhancing brief that gives you a shapely and toned look in a “smooth and firm” spandex nylon that truly fits and feels smooth and flattering. Pads on rear and side are from a proprietary Underworks® exclusive mold that are perfectly formed to conform to your body while enhancing your shape and providing you with the curves you need so you look natural under anything you wear. No protruding pads, no unsightly lines, no unnatural hills and valleys, just a smooth blending of your body and a perfect enhancing partner. The enhance panty also flattens your tummy and features garter tabs. Pads are removable and washable. Made in U.S.A. of nylon and spandex smooth and firm fabric.

This should arrive by Friday.

 

One of the things I have had some difficulty with has been getting past some of my reservations regarding needing help with my physical presentation… In other words, there have been times when just ordering these things made me worry I was just a cross dresser with delusions of grander. In my head I know better, but sometimes my heart doesn’t listen…

 

I also know there are many women in the world who need and use the same products, yet it still leaves me with an uneasy feeling. Funny, when I really stop and think about it, even HRT would put me into an artificial state as it requires medical intervention… it isn’t “natural” which is what my I really want… but then, don’t we all?

Seriously, I have been told many times over the past several months I think too much. That I worry about things no one even thinks about and I suppose it’s true. Even without any of this I have been gendered as female more often than not. So maybe I am projecting my fears onto others…

On a similar note…

I have looked into voice lessons more than once and what I found interesting is the claim they can help you “pass” (THAT word again…) even over the phone which is really funny since most people assume I’m female when we speak. Even when I have to use my birth name, there is always that hint of disbelief while they speak to me… you know, that slight, are you serious? hesitation before they use a male pronoun. The other day I could tell the woman on the other end didn’t completely buy the idea she was speaking to a male. I even tried to roughen up my voice a little, but I don’t think it made an ounce of difference in her mind.

Well, getting this out has helped me to get out of my head as it were and now maybe I can let a little more of this go until I don’t even think of it. 

A New Favorite

I imagine plenty of other people already know about Chi Latte, but I just tried some this week and I love it.

Chai Latte

 

From Starbucks website:

The warm, aromatic flavors of chai tea have their roots in the ancient Ayurvedic tradition of India, where roadside tea merchants can be found preparing black tea with traditional healing spices like cardamom, cinnamon and black pepper. Featuring ingredients gathered from around the globe, our version of this beloved beverage is wonderfully sweet and spicy – and every bit as soothing.

103 People Unfriended Her, How Many Would Do the Same to Me

A powerful must read.

Blog Woman!!! - Life Uncategorized

I came across a Huffington post about a woman who posted pictures of herself on her Facebook wall that caused a collapse in her social circle.  The headline said “When Beth Posted These Images on Facebook, 103 People Unfriended Her”.   

The headline effectively grabbed my attention, but what the story really did was zero in on the heart of one of my own deepest fears.  It cut to a deep vulnerability that even I don’t fully understand, but it’s one that has held me back from engaging as fully in life as I possibly could.  I can’t do that until I can somehow get to a place of true peace about it.

Canvas ScarsThe pictures that Beth Whaanga, the woman in the Huffington piece, posted were semi-nude images of herself featuring her scars from a double mastectomy and a hysterectomy.  They were taken by a photographer leading a project called,

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Methodological Questions in Childhood Gender Identity ‘Desistence’ Research

Some interesting conclusions come to light given further scrutiny.

GID Reform Weblog by Kelley Winters

Kelley Winters, Ph.D.
GID Reform Advocates

An expanded presentation to the 23rd World Professional Association for Transgender Health Biennial Symposium, Feb. 16, 2014, Bangkok, Thailand. (Presented remotely, from Loveland, Colorado, USA)

It is frequently repeated in mental health literature and popular media that the vast majority of children whose gender identity differs from their assigned birth-sex, or who are severly distressed by their birth-sex, will “desist” in their gender identities and gender dysphoria by adolescence. As a consequence, gender dysphoric children are pressed to remain in their birth-assigned roles throughout the world. But are gender dysphoria and diverse gender identities just a phase?

This presentation reexamines research in Canada and The Netherlands that underlies the “desistence” axiom, with respect to methodological rigor and validity of claims.

Conclusions

(1) Evidence from these studies suggests that the majority of gender nonconforming children are not gender dysphoric adolescents or adults.

(2) It does…

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Question and Answer

The question:

“Suppose you discovered that God hadn’t turned his back on you and you could still go to heaven. What would that mean for you/the rest of your life? Do you see that fixing problems or creating them, or both?”

My answer:

“I’ve had to think about your question and how I should answer. This is something which has and continues to weigh upon me with each passing day. 

There isn’t one simple answer to this, as much as I wish there were. You see, I think it depends on this… Am I accepted by Him as I am? A flawed, broken woman who resides in this flesh or in spite of this? I understand saved by grace and I’m not speaking of that, but of knowing if everything I have thought, said, and done over the past several years was part of the path He set me on or my own misguided wanderings in the dark? Have I followed His will or my own?The thought of having wasted what time He has allowed me following my own misguided pride is crushing… 

I can accept how He might have given me these burdens so His will could be shown, but to think I squandered everything? I don’t know.

If an angel suddenly appeared and told me the Father loved me as I am, broken, dirty, and not worth His notice… That He loved the woman I am… then it would be the weight of the world lifted from my shoulders. And if he told me God loved me despite being a silly, misguided, deceived man who had lost his way….

Better to cast me into the fires of hell…

You see, this is my one true fear and has been from the beginning… 
Funny, I just thought about something. I can remember standing in front of the mirror, just a tan towel draped over my head and wishing it was hair instead. Of standing there dressed in my mothers clothes and knowing… knowing, beyond all doubt this is who I am… Not just what, but who. from the top of my head to the tip of my toes.

Can you imagine what it would mean if I could cast my thoughts back to that confused little girl and tell her everything is going to be ok? To tell her God is with her and will never let her walk alone? That she is right, no matter what the world tells her. To be able to go forward held in His embrace…

But what if I stand there on judgment day to be told, “Fool, if not for grace…” 

I have made many, many mistakes in this life, I cannot deny it. I know in the end my salvation lies not with myself but with Him, yet to be told I had wasted the gifts I had been given following a Will-O-Wisp of deception and pride. To know I could have done better than I did… could have been more than I was… could have been a greater witness for Him… and squandered it all on a lie…

You see, I look at this flesh and it tells me one thing. I look to my heart and it tells me another. I have wondered, hoped, cried, prayed, and screamed for understanding. I have asked for wisdom, patience, and forgiveness. Yet at every turn, who I truly am, heart and soul, has reared it’s head telling me I have lived a lie my whole life. Instead of putting my faith in Him and following the Holy Spirit where He wanted me to be… I caved in to worldly pressures, struggling in vain to be what those around me insisted I had to be even though I knew… I knew, I knew, I knew, it was wrong. 
Now here I am today, unsure of where I stand. Not because of anything He has done, but because of what I did not do. He never failed me, I failed Him and because of it, I cannot say I would be in the least surprised to find myself on the “Down” elevator instead of the “UP.” 

Not every seed planted grows and thrives… some land on rocky, infertile soil and live only a short time before withering away…

So I wonder, which am I?

To know He was still with me. To know I hadn’t walked away from Him… To know the path I am on is the one He has chosen?  Could simple words ever express what such a thing would mean to me?”