Misplaced Motivation

This is a post which has been a long time in writing. So many times I have wanted to respond to someone or something but felt it was better to think about things and not react in the moment.

The issue for me is the idea of self acceptance, self confidence, and image. I know they seem like three separate things, but they are inexornbly tied to one another.

What bothers me is the this ever prevalant belief simple motivational sayings and pretty pictures can lead to a personal euphony  where one suddenly thinks, “Why, silly me, why didn’t I realize how easy it is to believe in myself!” and then goes on to a happy ever after.

Or more galling, is the thought I have seen expressed which through various forms and words boil down to “pull yourself up by the bootstraps.” This grand process by which someone can overcome a lifetime of struggling with any number of issues to reach down into the pit of depression and self doubt to raise themselves up to seeing the truth about themselves.

Guess what?

It might work in the movies, but this is real life and nothing; nothing is ever so simple.

When you see someone who you think lacks self confidence, a feeling of self worth, self acceptance, and understanding, realize you have not lived this person’s life. Many things which to you may seem silly, pointless, no big deal, and easy bumps in the road to overcome, might just be something else entirely to this person.

Do you know if they were emotionally abused? If they are still being? Do you know what experiences they have lived through which did nothing but confirm their own opinion of themselves, a self perpetuating prophecy? 

Do they suffer from depression? Not the “I feel blue today” sort of thing, but a deep seated depression which makes it difficult to draw a breath? 

Often it is a combination of things, mental, physical, emotional… it touches every aspect of your life in ways which are often difficult to describe to someone who hasn’t shared a similar experience.

I know this is an unexpected rant, but this is something which touches me personally. I don’t know about anyone else, but I can tell you there have been times when reading someone making a comment or post which basically blames the person without knowing the circumstances has made my blood run cold. There have even been times when I have almost become physically ill thinking something I read, directed toward me or not, was speaking directly to me. As if the writer knew me personally and had the right to point a finger and tell me, “It’s YOUR fault.”

I’m not saying such was the intention… after all, they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and frankly it doesn’t matter one way or the other; regardless of anything else, the damage has been done in ways which are so often not seen, but are real and devestating. 

This is one of the reasons I no longer read motivational posts, or even religious posts anymore. I know who difficult this is just as I know simple words, no matter how well intended, change nothing. I have been in therapy for the majority of three years and one of the things I keep coming back to is the issues dealing with self confidence, acceptance, self image, and understanding so much of which I had pounded into my head, sometime literally, for decades was lies told by people who never had my best interests at heart. People who derived joy from the suffering of others.

And knowing all this, I still struggle.

What This Dad Does for his Ailing Daughter has the Internet in Tears

How could I not reblog this?

Kindness Blog

McKenzie Michelle Carey

McKenzie Michelle Carey was born weighing just over eight pounds, 12 years ago on April 20, 2002.

Eighteen months later she was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease identified as Mitochondrial disease. Mitochondria are considered the cell’s power producers, and the work they do helps generate fuel for the cell’s activities. But McKenzie’s mitochondria can’t do what they are needed to do; sustain life and support growth.

The disease damages cells of the brain, heart, liver, skeletal muscles, kidney and the endocrine and respiratory systems.

But her condition didn’t keep her off the stage for the summer pageant, thanks to her awesome dad.

He dances the sweetest dance with his daughter, to “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus. You can see the happiness sparkling from her eyes.

McKenzie has been responding to alternative therapies, her mother Tammy Carey said. The treatments are hyperbaric oxygen therapy and intensive suit therapy, both are expensive.

If…

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A Cool Summer Side

Avocado, Bacon & Tomato Summer Salad with Dill Dressing 

(Via. Dreamfieldsfoods)

 

Wp2014 rec AvocadoBaconTomato

 

This easy pasta salad recipe makes an impression. With the smoothness of avocados and tomatoes, along with the crunchiness of bacon, this summer pasta salad has a lively dill dressing that will get noticed at your next family dinner, summer event or holiday celebration.

Preparation Time: 20 minutes

 

Ingredients:

1 box Dreamfields Rotin

i3/4 cup mayonnaise (light or regular)

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice

1 tablespoon chopped fresh dill or 1 teaspoon dried dill

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder

1/4 teaspoon pepper

2 cups cherry or grape tomatoes, halved

1 to 2 avocados, chopped

6 slices bacon, cooked crisp and crumbled

Directions:

Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Rinse with cold water until completely cooled; drain again. Place in large bowl.

Meanwhile, for dressing, in small bowl, whisk together mayonnaise, lemon juice, dill, salt, garlic powder and pepper; set aside.

Add tomatoes, avocado and bacon to pasta; toss gently to combine.

Add dressing; toss to coat.

Serve immediately.

To serve chilled, do not add dressing. Cover and refrigerate pasta mixture.

Remove from refrigerator 15 minutes before serving; toss with dressing.

Makes 6-8 servings.

Nutrition information (1/6 of recipe):

404 calories; 12 g protein; 53 g carbohydrates; 18 g total fat; 3 g saturated fat; 20 mg cholesterol; 441 mg sodium; 9 g total dietary fiber.

Words Can Never Harm Me.

What follows is an idea which grew from watching short movies and extended commercials. It is dark and bleak and is meant to shock, at least a little.

 

If I could, I would make this video.

 

(An important element for this, both written and visual, is the soundtrack. A single song, “End of the Beginning” by Shawn James. It is exactly 2:00 in length, as the video would be.)

 

 

Words Can Never Harm Me.

By Kira A. Moore

 

 

{Fade from black}

 

Gloved hands. Booted feet, part of a long, black coat. You watch as someone begins climbing a metal ladder.

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

{New scene}

 

A child’s hand cupping a butterfly with broken wings.

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

{New Scene}

 

Gloves and boots and coat climbing higher.

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

{New Scene}

 

A man’s voice;

 

“You’re worthless.” {A fist swings toward the camera.}

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

Gloves and boots and coat continue upward.

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

{New Scene}

 

A woman’s voice;

 

“You’ll never be worth anything.” {The sound of hand striking flesh.}

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

{New Scene}

 

The figure reaches the top. A metal walkway a few feet wide, curving away into the distance.

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

{New Scene}

 

A piece of paper marked with a large, red “F.”

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

{New Scene}

 

The figure moves, a metal wall to one side, open space beyond the walkway on the other.

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

Words flash through the darkness.

 

“Worthless.”

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

“Useless.”

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

“Stupid”

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

“A waste.”

 

{Flash of black / Sound of a heartbeat}

 

It ends with nothing in sight but the metal wall. A pale color in cold moonlight. 

 

Then the wall is falling away.

 

{Flash of black / Silence}