The First 48

(Apologizes to the Tv show.)

I suppose I should say, the first 24, but it lacks the same ring… 

So yesterday I decided enough was enough. I’ve lived with fear and indecision far too long. It was time to take a stand, to be open and proud of who I am and to stop wasting time trying to live in two worlds at once.

My fist open step was to go into work as myself and I did. All of the little nagging fears which had whispered from the shadows never materialized. The people I spoke to openly barely batted an eye and if there where any whispers or gossip I never heard it. (Then again, much as I have been out in the world, I didn’t care enough to let it bother me, never mind stop me.)

The general response has been, “you do what you have to”.

Tonight was interesting for several reasons, first I explained to a coworker I no longer acknowledge my ‘dead’ name. I gave him my name and a brief explanation for the change and he was very gracious about it. The second was something I hadn’t really thought about. If someone is off for the night, the whole crew comes together to clean their area. To keep things fair we have a jobs list and each person is assigned a different job each night. As of yesterday this showed my old initials, tonight they were changed to KM. This brought a smile and some tears. I don’t know how to explain how something so simple can be so profound. It was much like the first time I saw myself with a wig and being able to see the picture in my heart looking back at me…


10 thoughts on “The First 48

  1. Ain’t that the way? Things seem so huge in our heads and then they turn out to be no big deal. Acceptance is awesome. Congrats on taking the leap,. And good on your co-workers for going with the flow.

  2. I think it is great that such a small thing was considered at work, when it could have been so easy and automatic to use your old initials. Yay! for you and for your coworkers. ((Hugs))

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