A Name By Any Other…

I was curious as to what, if anything, would be said after I used my chosen name at work. I received my answer today; I was informed I needed to speak to HR today if I wanted to use a different name. So I went to them and spoke with a very understanding and knowledgeable representative who went over the basics, which was I need to obtain a legal name change along with all of the corresponding forms of identification; Social Security, Driver’s License, Bank forms, etc, etc, etc. Then I will need to refile all my paperwork with HR and receive a new ID card.

It will be a time consuming and expensive process… Still, I understand this is what I need to do to continue moving forward.

The glimmer of good news in all of this is asking people to use my preferred name is acceptable, I just can’t use it for anything “official” which I guess includes supply requests for some reason… (shrug).

11 thoughts on “A Name By Any Other…

  1. I was in the same position but depending on state, that may or may not be legally enforceable. I could have fought that even here in Texas, but HR was actually nice and explained how me getting legal paperwork done helped them in dealing with other employees if any issues arose about me.

    Because I felt they really had my best interest at heart and that of the company as well, I agreed and waited to go full time until immediately after I had my court order, temporary driver’s license, and temporary social security card.

  2. The biggest smile and most joy I saw from my trans family member wasn’t when she started HRT — it was when we went to court for the name and gender marker change. I wish that joy for you, Kira!

    (I was pleasantly surprised by the helpfulness and acceptance she got at the DMV, Social Security, and courthouse. Not everybody is an intolerant you-know-what out there in the world!)

  3. Kira, if you want, please email me with the state that you reside in. I’ve helped many get the information they need to file papers with the court for a legal name change. There’s a system thereafter to getting your name changed on other documents, and I can also help guide you through that process.

      1. KIra, if you go to the admin side of your blog under “comments” and find my comment there, it should have my email address. I don’t want to post it publicly to avoid unwanted emails.

  4. *


    You wield great power in that paper that says ‘legal’. You will be jubilant once you get your name and sex identification legally changed.

    Once you get your legal papers, then your employer and all other institutions that use your name and sex identification can – MUST – legally change their papers. You might call these all necessary evils – but they are necessary ‘good’ because they complete more steps through your transition.

    When you file your legal name / sex change document, then you can take that to SSA for them to change your name and sex in your file there. You do NOT want to get on SSA’s ‘Discrepancy List’!

    Your SSA file also affects your IRS file and getting your income tax refunds. IRS can withhold your refund check if SSA can’t match your name to your number.

    I had no complications with SSA in 1978 (though they made frequent errors through the years that I’ve had to correct). Likewise, my state petition was a breeze in 1980; the first place I went to show off my new name and that nice-looking ‘F’ was MVD. I must have been my MVD agent’s first transsexual, he was more nervous than I. The next stop – I opened my first bank account in my new identification.

    Yes! All success within reach.


    1. I’ll admit I have questioned if being ‘legal’ was worth the time and effort, I have also asked if, to me, it is really that important and I have to say ‘yes’ it is that important. Yes, it is worth it. Not just for the legal aspects but for the personal ones. To tell the world who I really am.

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