Beginnings

There are so many thoughts running through my mind… Yesterday’s post seemed to come so easy, flowing from my fingertips onto the screen. Today I begin to get a glimpse of the road ahead and it scares me. 

In a single moment my world was shattered, though I didn’t realize it at the time. I knew what others saw, what they expected and assumed about me, was wrong. Even now that distant memory brings exhilaration and terror. I had seen my true self, the one hidden away. One which, even though I couldn’t explain why, I knew would never be accepted. Human eyes can only see skin deep and hold little concern for all those things which make us who we are… So much more inside than out, an iceberg in the sea of assumption.

From this moment forward I would find myself drifting further away from the people around me; family, friends, school mates, and teachers. There was a sense of control in building those walls. Keeping thoughts, emotions, and knowledge safely tucked away into the corners of my mind. As is said, the best kept secrets are known by only one. I was the keeper of the keys, the architect and builder of my own prison.

It is a silent, suffocating place.



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