Illinois takes steps with new laws to protect transgender community:
“Regardless of the lack of a budget in Illinois, those elected to represent the people of the State have not been sitting on their hands. With bipartisan majorities, including support from Republican leaders in both the Illinois House and Senate, January 1st, 2016 will bring three new laws to the State that mark a significant move forward in protections for the Transgender community.”
(Via. Chicago Now)
More than once I have had someone tell me not to worry about another’s feelings. I should do those things I need to make myself comfortable regardless of how it affects someone; I should see their issues as their problem and not mine. If they are uncomfortable with my choices then they need to get over it. It isn’t my responsibility…
For me it isn’t so cut and dry. Knowing I am the source of someone’s unhappiness, to be a source of pain isn’t something I can ignore. Such a thing seems callus and cold, narcissistic and cruel. So much more so when it is someone I am connected to.
I cannot understand how I am suppose to be happy at another’s expense.
It may not come as much of a surprise to hear I would rather die a thousand deaths than hurt someone I care about. To know I have said many times I can accept my own pain, indeed would rather take all of their pain into myself… after all, I have lived with so much already it is like we are old friends, well acquainted with one another. Yes, there is also the fact on many levels I feel as though I deserve to hurt. To bear bruises and scars so others never have to experience them. No, I do not see myself as some type of martyr, a sacrificial lamb… To me it is an understanding some people are born to suffer, emotionally, physically, spiritually. It isn’t an issue of persecution, it is simply fact.
It has been some time since I was able to comfortably move words from my heart to the screen, (or paper). I cannot explain why this has been an issue but I am going to try and overcome it with this post.
There have been many times when I have closed my eyes to find myself looking into darkness. My ears filled with static. My heart feels weighed down and tears come without rhyme or reason. After all this time and having gone through so much, I might have thought things would be different. Then again I have always been a dreamer, hoping for a better outcome than I know to be possible.
This holiday season has brought this home with jarring clarity. Until Saturday, which was our family gathering, I had gone weeks without being myself in the real world… I was, once again, at a point of questioning everything. Myself. Who I am… what I am. Wondering if it has been worth the personal cost to fight to be seen as I truly am when the whole world seems determined to keep me locked in a box.
Maybe I’ve simply grown tired. Exhausted mentally, emotionally, and physically; knowing giving up would come with a high price but also the promise of becoming numb.
When I take the time to reflect, it comes to mind much of this may be the result of looking outside to find permission to be. Content only when I find it pleases others. If my words or actions seem to distress someone close to me I immediately begin to doubt. To second guess, even to insist on punishing myself for not being who they wish me to be, for causing them pain or discomfort by my mere existence. This is a serious issue when I am faced by people who are not comfortable seeing me as Kira in the flesh as opposed to some imaginary state. People who cannot bring themselves to use my name, who refuse to look me in the eye or even touch me. I am surrounded by this nearly every moment of every day except for those few short hours when the house is empty or I am sleeping and even then I cannot completely escape.
This was and is my reality this holiday season when no one has been unkind yet not friendly either. I was in a house full of people yet at times I felt I was only a reminder of someone who had passed beyond their reach or understanding. A ghost.
Maybe I’m reading too much into this, I really cannot say. Yet at the same time I cannot deny the reality of my feelings and because of them I have thought more than once of giving up. To smile shyly and say it was all a misunderstanding. I never thought myself to be other than what they see…
Because then only I would bear the pain I see in their eyes.
Time for transgender rights opponents to give up the fight – LA Times:
“Ever since California’s law to protect the rights of transgender students went into effect two years ago, opponents have tried to whip up fear and confusion about what they see as the scary new bathroom rules, under which they say that any child of any gender may wander into any old restroom whenever they want. Voters, however, aren’t buying it. For the second time, backers of a ballot initiative to overturn the law have failed to gather enough signatures to qualify for the ballot. It’s time they gave up the fight.”
Shy Shelter Dog’s Reaction To Getting Adopted Is The Definition Of Joy On Earth:
“A shy shelter dog turned into a jumping, tail-wagging bundle of joy when he was adopted by a loving family. “
(Via. Huffington Post)
Stunning Photo Series Shows Transgender Kids As They See Themselves:
“As the year draws to a close, It’s a time to look back on things that happened over the past twelve months. Over the next few days, we’ll be revisiting some of our favorite stories from throughout the year, and seeing again what they mean for 2015 in review.
This story was originally published on May 23, 2015.”
I wonder if this guy is going to stand outside of restrooms demanding to check what is in a persons pants? Oh, so all those women you fondled because they didn’t “look typically female” are now filing a sexual harassment suit? Who would have expected such an outcome?
Indiana bill targets bathroom use by transgender people – Chicago Tribune:
“An Indiana lawmaker has proposed a bill that would make it a crime for transgender people to use public bathrooms and locker rooms that do not conform to their gender at birth, threatening to draw Indiana further into a national debate over transgender rights.”
Why America’s Top LGBT Group Is Losing An Argument Over Bathrooms – BuzzFeed News:
“The Human Rights Campaign said its next big focus after marriage equality was passing LGBT nondiscrimination laws. But they’re losing ground to an attack spreading fear about who would be allowed in bathrooms.”