More than once I have had someone tell me not to worry about another’s feelings. I should do those things I need to make myself comfortable regardless of how it affects someone; I should see their issues as their problem and not mine. If they are uncomfortable with my choices then they need to get over it. It isn’t my responsibility…

For me it isn’t so cut and dry. Knowing I am the source of someone’s unhappiness, to be a source of pain isn’t something I can ignore. Such a thing seems callus and cold, narcissistic and cruel. So much more so when it is someone I am connected to.

I cannot understand how I am suppose to be happy at another’s expense.

It may not come as much of a surprise to hear I would rather die a thousand deaths than hurt someone I care about. To know I have said many times I can accept my own pain, indeed would rather take all of their pain into myself… after all, I have lived with so much already it is like we are old friends, well acquainted with one another. Yes, there is also the fact on many levels I feel as though I deserve to hurt. To bear bruises and scars so others never have to experience them. No, I do not see myself as some type of martyr, a sacrificial lamb… To me it is an understanding some people are born to suffer, emotionally, physically, spiritually. It isn’t an issue of persecution, it is simply fact.

4 thoughts on “Fact

  1. I don’t know how, but you sure are echoing my thoughts and feelings in this post. I know too, it stinks sometimes that we do care about others feelings. In fact so much that we are willing to keep our true selves hidden.

  2. I don’t think anyone is born to suffer. Suffering is a choice. That doesn’t mean we don’t feel pain, empathy or sympathy. It just means that we can choose to dwell in those places and suffer, or accept those feelings and move through them. Pain is part of life, unfortunately. And sometimes we are the cause of another’s pain. But causing ourselves more pain to ease their suffering, which is their choice, doesn’t solve the problem.

  3. In my experience, the pain I feel at coming to terms with another’s journey — it’s nothing compared to the pain that person has suffered to take just one step. As a parent, I will gladly take the pain so that my child can be free and live their authentic life.

  4. Isn’t it interesting how we accept pain for the sake of beauty on ourselves but cringe at the thought of it on others? I cannot say whether it is right or wrong, maybe it’s both. But it is true that sometimes the most beautiful things come from our darkest points. We cry, and it feels good to do so, but whenever someone else starts to we immediately try to cheer them up. Sometimes it seems there is a fine line between support and bullying, sometimes the only difference between the two is motivation, and that can mean all the difference.

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