I sit alone, only the ticking of a wall clock breaking the silence. My sight isn’t focused on the world outside the glass, my mind is lost to the memories of a long lost summer day when the heat pressing against my skin seemed to be foreign thing, so close yet so far away.
Maybe I was simply daydreaming or it was my first intimate dance with dysphoria at a time i didn’t have a word to describe what I felt. No matter the case, I was seeking refuge from the constant sadness, the pressure of knowing I didn’t fit with the life I was drowning in.
Near my house was a wooded hillside, it was easy to climb and it was a short distance to become lost from the sight of anyone passing by. As foolish as it seems now, it was easy to imagine I had passed beyond a leafy veil to enter a world where my heart could be free, even for just a short time.
There was a place where tree roots grew into a natural seat and it was here i opened myself to what surrounded me. A miniature world made of hundreds of emerald green litchen islands. I thought of all the times when I hadn’t even taken the time to notice these tiny worlds and it became clear it was the same with the whole world and myself…
I could be uprooted,discarded and no one would notice as they passed on their way to something more important.