Why?

Sitting here I realize there are things about my mind I simply don’t understand.

I know at this point living life full time as myself isnt an option I can turn on or off at a whim, it is a matter of life and death. Yet I have something deep inside which insists I could in fact continue living the lie which has broken me more than once, nearly killed me and has left me an emotional wreck. A lie which has stolen more from me than I could ever hope to understand let alone explain.

Why do I wake each day and tell myself I can survive a little longer without transitioning? 

Advertisements

6 thoughts on “Why?

  1. Sorry, fat thumbs..
    It could be seen as a protective measure to keep telling you that you can keep hanging on. But the ego often gets things objectively wrong becsuse it is by its nature subjective.
    So the ego can be seen as trying to help but often giving the self less than good advice.
    This isn’t something going wrong with you.It is part of being human but it might be distressing to you and we all suffer from it.
    Love,
    Geraldine

  2. In my opion Kira it’s fear, depression and agziety stoping you from moving forward and telling you you can go on living the lie, iv been back and forth with that my self many times over the past 5 years, at some point you have to just push that stuff to the side and do what your heart and soul really want’s to make your self happy sis.

    Im here for you Kira.

    BY FOR NOW

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s