Second Thoughts

I must admit I have mixed feelings about seeing a new doctor. On one side I know he can provide me with more support than I have received to this point especially dealing with my depression and anxiety. On the other I am uncertain how he will view me being trans… (gender, sexual, or whatever.) Also, I have been seeing my therapist for more than six years now. She has been there almost from the beginning and I think she knows me fairly well at this point. Seeing someone new will mean starting over from square one and I don’t know if I will be able to express the largest part of what I have lived through in those years. I doubt he would take the time needed to read through this blog for answers, if there are any. After all I wouldn’t be the only person he sees.

It shouldn’t be surprising I am afraid doing this is going to send me back into a cycle of doubts, questions, and fears… To be honest they have already started. 

Whenever I try to explain what is going on in my head out loud, I can only think I sound completely crazy and looking back at the things I have written here, it doesn’t sound much better. 

Maybe I’m worrying over nothing but I don’t know what I will do if I’m told I don’t meet the criteria to be diagnosed with gender dysphoria.

From American Psychiatric Association’s website:

In adolescents and adults gender dysphoria diagnosis involves a difference between one’s experienced/expressed gender and assigned gender, and significant distress or problems functioning. It lasts at least six months and is shown by at least two of the following:

A marked incongruence between one’s experienced/expressed gender and primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
A strong desire to be rid of one’s primary and/or secondary sex characteristics
A strong desire for the primary and/or secondary sex characteristics of the other gender
A strong desire to be of the other gender
A strong desire to be treated as the other gender
A strong conviction that one has the typical feelings and reactions of the other gender

I think I meet all of the above, but what do I really know?

5 thoughts on “Second Thoughts

  1. Fearing new and unknown situations is totally normal. Try not to worry yourself too much, and don’t allow those doubts to keep you from moving forward.

  2. I wonder whether you could ask your psychologist to brief your new doctor on his/her clinical opinion of your case as a way of bringing them up to speed quickly.
    I hope it goes well Kira.
    Geraldine

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s