Giving Up


Just A Thought…


7 thoughts on “Just A Thought…

  1. Dangerous Kira. As people who because of our situation reject binary thinking, this is binary: continue or give in. May be more powerful to include changing direction.
    Just a thought.

    • I know how dangerous this line of thinking is, I have followed it to its conclusion more than once… Maybe I’m beginning to realize all of these years of struggle, pain, and sorrow have had me following a path which has lead to a dead end and the only choice left is if I will simply walk off the end or if I run.

      • I understand. I have simply reached the point where I simply don’t have the strength to continue with nothing more than pointless hopes and dreams which can never come true. I may be many things, but stupid or delusional are not among them. I knew from the beginning there would only be so far I could travel, that at some point I would reach a place from which I could no longer move forward. I could always change the way I look or act. The name I perfer or the pronouns I use. I might even be able to make some changes medically but in the end there was a level at which I could never change regardless of how much I might wish it otherwise. The truth is, it doesn’t matter how I see myself or even how others do, I am and will remain what this body has made me and I will never truly be anything else.
        So it is, I am exhausted. In heart, body, mind, and soul. I don’t want to continue to struggle day after day, hour after hour, or even moment by moment aganist the never ending waves of depression and anxiety which have threatened to overwhelm me for as long as I can remember. It just isn’t worth it anymore… mabe it never really was….
        All I want to lay down and sleep. To lay everything down and finally rest in oblivion.

      • Kira I’m way out of my depth here but please seek wise counsel from a medical or other source now.
        Even though we will only know each other in the ether, Kira is real to me and important to me.
        I accept you as you are, not as you wish you were.
        I will be monitoring your site until you tell us you are OK from this bout.
        Hoping and praying

      • I haven’t made any plans, but I am at the point where I’m not sleeping properly and back to eating only one meal a day. I simply don’t have an appetite. I’ll start to worry if I stop sleeping at all.

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