A recent article published by Catholic news outlet LifeSiteNews alleged that the drugs used to treat gender dysphoria in some transgender children are linked to “thousands” of deaths.

The story went viral on right-wing news websites such as the Christian Post and the Daily Wire. According to CrowdTangle, a social media metric platform, these posts — including shares by Daily Wire founder Ben Shapiro and commentator Matt Walsh — are currently some of the top performing LGBTQ-related content on Facebook and Twitter.

The problem is: the “thousands” of people who die while taking these drugs are likely the terminally ill cancer patients who receive hormone blockers to fight hormone-sensitive cancers, like prostate cancer, according to experts.

Stormy

Had a lot of stormy weather today and more possible tonight. I’m calling it a night. Coffee and tv for me.

Hop everyone has a safe and dry night.

09-26-2019

Yes, I went to my therapy appointment today. I’m not sure if it amounted to much other than resetting my sessions from every two weeks back to each week. As I mentioned to therapist, trying to go more than a week at a time seems to invite disaster in one form or another.

Today was mostly catching up. Going over my feelings of becoming emotionally unstable . It did help a little talking to someone face to face though I am left to worry about where things are going. Even though it has been some time since I last felt this way, I remember it all too well. Feeling as if I am walking on a knife edge, my nerves strung so tightly it makes my entire body vibrate. The smallest, simplest things will set my teeth on edge, peoples voices tearing across my senses like sandpaper on raw nerves.

It would be bad enough if this was all I had to deal with but it isn’t. Every moment I stop, regardless of the reason, a thousand other things crowd my mind, demanding energy I simply don’t have.

The additional stress comes from thinking about gender issues, what is right, wrong, which direction I should go if any at all. What happens if decided to not continue to transition? Could I survive? Are many of these issues related to having stopped at this point or is it the only thing keeping me from completely coming apart?

Regardless, I feel not having these things under some semblance of control is going to lead to a very bad ending. After all, while there are things transitioning will help with, it is not a cure all and expecting to wake up to a happily ever after is a recipe for disaster. I have to be able to understand and accept it for what it is… and what it is not.

This

Energy

Lost

There have been so many times I have wished I could leave my past behind me, all of the memories and emotions. The faces and whispering memories of disappointment looks and cutting words. All of the lost hopes and dreams. Yet when I pause even for a second I find they are right behind me waiting for a moment of weakness.

The occasional stillness within is proven to be the quiet in the eye of the storm.

Since I have never known anything other than constant doubt, fear, and pain, I cannot say if this is true for anyone else. I simply know it is my reality and trying to rise above it has proven pointless as the darkness arises each time to engulf me.

I bring this up to explain why it seems I cannot push forward to become who or what I could be. Why, as soon as it seems I might find happiness and acceptance of myself it is all ripped away in a cataclysm of pain and self loathing.

It leaves me wondering how I can ever come to terms with being transgender when all I can do is rip myself apart with claws and teeth of my own making. Then again it might not make a difference when I can’t help thinking transitioning won’t make a difference, I’ll be just as broken as I am now.

Untitled

It’s been another long day which has left me spent. Indeed, this seems to be the case more often than not. I wake up without hope or direction, simply a list of obligations. I have lost interest in anything beyond simply surviving until night falls.

I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

There seems to be no past, no future, just an endless now which has drained me of everything except anger, disappointment, and disillusionment. Every little thing sets me on edge to the point I feel I am becoming dangerous.

There was a point in my life when I knew I was capable of hurting someone without thought or remorse and I can feel myself inching closer to such a place once again. I know I should scared but really I can’t summon the energy. This is also the same place where I could harm myself ,in fact did, and I have come close to doing so once more…

Sometimes when it seems you can’t feel anything at all the pain becomes a cursed blessing.

Delicious Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries | Home Design, Garden & Architecture Blog Magazine

Delicious Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries | Home Design, Garden & Architecture Blog Magazine:

Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries

Discover a delicious recipe, easy to prepare and incredibly tasty! All you have to do is follow the steps below, and maybe even in these days you can surprise your friends or family with this tasty Cheesecake Stuffed Strawberries.

The Right Wing’s War on the L.G.B.T.Q. Community | The New Yorker

The Right Wing’s War on the L.G.B.T.Q. Community | The New Yorker:

The use of religious freedom as a tool to enable discrimination has become a bedrock principle of the modern conservative movement—and of the Trump Administration.

Call Our Hotline – NYC Anti-Violence Project

Call Our Hotline – NYC Anti-Violence Project:

Have you experienced or witnessed violence, or are you concerned about someone who has? We’re here to support you on our 24 Hour English/Spanish Hotline: 212-714-1141. All calls are free and confidential. You can also report violence anonymously or ask for a counselor to reach out to you online.

Our free, bilingual (English/Spanish), 24-hour, 365-day-a-year crisis intervention hotline is staffed by trained volunteers and our professional counselor/advocates, offering support to LGBTQ & HIV-affected survivors of any type of violence, as well as to those who love and support survivors, including those who have lost a loved one to violence.

We receive thousands of calls a year. Callers receive immediate crisis counseling and safety planning, as well as access to ongoing counseling, advocacy, and onsite legal services. We support clients and community members in trying to access safety, services, and support from systems and service providers to overcome bias, discrimination, and violence. We may also be able to accompany you to court, the police, to HRA, or to another service provider.

Our hotline is also available to service providers who want support in working with an LGBTQ or HIV-affected survivor.

Call us at 212 714 1141—we’re here to help!