It’s been another long day which has left me spent. Indeed, this seems to be the case more often than not. I wake up without hope or direction, simply a list of obligations. I have lost interest in anything beyond simply surviving until night falls.

I don’t know what to do with myself anymore.

There seems to be no past, no future, just an endless now which has drained me of everything except anger, disappointment, and disillusionment. Every little thing sets me on edge to the point I feel I am becoming dangerous.

There was a point in my life when I knew I was capable of hurting someone without thought or remorse and I can feel myself inching closer to such a place once again. I know I should scared but really I can’t summon the energy. This is also the same place where I could harm myself ,in fact did, and I have come close to doing so once more…

Sometimes when it seems you can’t feel anything at all the pain becomes a cursed blessing. 

6 thoughts on “Untitled

  1. Missy my heart breaks for you and I’m scared for you. But I don’t know how to help you. You might be well advised to talk to your doctor or some other trusted confidant. Maybe a lifeline or helpline. At the very least continue to express your pain on your blog.
    You are important to us missy.
    Love and concern,

  2. Kira , you are loved and cared for. Your blog is a good release but maybe you just need a good vacation. a place to relax and recharge yourself for you are beautiful

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