Despite all of the promises I made to myself, I have been having a hard time making the change to being full time; at least this is what I have believed to this point. By this I mean making the effort to present as Kira from the time I wake up until I get ready for bed. More times than not I just throw on the same old clothes I have all along and just accept being mis-gendered.

Funny enough I get as many, if not more, Miss as Sir even on days like today when I didn’t bother to touch a razor. (I can tell you honestly it doesn’t make any sense to me, when I see my reflection all I can see is him…)

Why is this important? Because today I was confronted by a very nice girl of maybe nine or ten who sat down next to me and honestly asked if I was a boy or girl. I asked her if it made a difference, she thought for moment, said “not really”, then asked again. So I asked her what she thought and she told me I had to be a girl because I have long hair and girls have long hair. Boys can have long hair too but it isn’t the same.

So… this has left me with mixed feelings to say the least.

I have to ask, not for the first time, who am I really?

Him, her, or neither?

11 thoughts on “12/28/19

  1. Indeed the children speak and ask questions not being judgmental but for their knowledge. Some times ok it seems most times we are more judgmental on ourselves instead of being who we are we question first what and why.
    not sure what the answer is other then just trying to be true who we feel we are.
    And love one another without judgement.
    Happy New Year

  2. You are who you are depends what you feel on the inside not the mirror. As a trans male I do get misgender daily and it sucks.

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