Time and again, across the many years, I have reached points where, without warning, I would make a snap decision regarding some aspect of my transition. More often than not these would happen when the pain and stress became more than I could contain and everything would explode in ways I could never predict.
For awhile now I have been struggling with depression and anxiety which medication did little to mitigate. It reached a point recently where I was allowing my thoughts to take me in a dangerous direction. (I could explain in more detail but I fear it would cause more problems than it was worth, not just for myself, but some readers as well ).
It all came to head this morning and I knew I had a choice, stop permanently or move forward regardless of the cost. Something deep inside, out of my direct control, made another snap decision and all I could do was ride the wave.
Now I’m sitting here at the end of a day of unexpected change and I’m glad to report things may have finally taken a positive direction. Of course I don’t want to jinx myself so I’ll say I have a cautious hope.