A Northern Virginia religious leader is accused of “libelous and inflammatory” comments by Loudoun County Democrats after weighing in on a controversy involving a teacher’s views on transgender rights.
Pastor Gary Hamrick of Cornerstone Chapel, a nondenominational church in Leesburg, said during Sunday’s service that he supported recall efforts against six Loudoun County School Board members because they were “abusing our children by perpetuating the lie about gender confusion.”
“They need to be held accountable,” Hamrick said.
Loudoun County Democrats called on Hamrick to recant his comments.
“Unfounded statements such as these not only hurt our community that he is meant to serve, but have dangerous ramifications for the incitement of violence,” the party said.
Hamrick was speaking out in support of Byron Tanner Cross, a congregant of the church and a physical education teacher at Leesburg Elementary School who was placed on administrative leave following public testimony during a May 25 school board meeting.
He said during the meeting that he would not address transgender students by pronouns that reflect their gender identity.
“I love all of my students, but I would never lie to them regardless of the consequences,” Cross said at the meeting. “I’m a teacher, but I serve God first and I will not affirm a biological boy can be a girl and vice versa, because it’s against my religion, it’s lying to a child.”
Cross said he was opposed to a school system policy that says staff members must allow transgender students to use their chosen name and gender pronouns.
Hamrick claimed that Cross being placed on leave was a reflection of “progressive, liberal and Marxist ideology.”
“This is out of control,” Hamrick said.
The situation drew attention in the Virginia governor’s race, with Republican nominee Glenn Youngkin speaking out in support of Cross, asking the school system to reinstate him.
“It’s amazing to me that we see the Loudoun County School Board ignore and absolutely trample on Tanner Cross’ constitutional rights to express not only his religious beliefs, but also his right to free speech,” Youngkin said during an interview on Fox News.
Alliance Defending Freedom, a conservative Christian legal group, penned a letter to the school system demanding Cross be reinstated. On Tuesday, the group said its lawyers filed a lawsuit against Loudoun County Public Schools after school officials suspended Cross and responded to the group’s letter “by doubling down on its unconstitutional actions and stating that it intends to stand by its decision to suspend Cross.”
The group alleges that the school board’s actions “violated the Virginia Constitution when it punished Cross by retaliating against him for expressing his beliefs in a public forum, and also violated his free exercise of religion by discriminating against his religious beliefs.”
Kira Moore's Closet 
I think I’ve read about that teacher. How is it loving God, by not respecting what he created? I would love to ask that to that teacher to his face.
Also is he God? Who is he to say that he would be lying to that child?
It seems he thinks he is…
I’m sure it all makes sense in his own mind and the minds of the people in his little echo chamber of a “church”.
The answer to your questions can be found in the Bible.
Only if someone is inclined to consider the Christian bible an authoritative source. There are many who do not think so even without taking into consideration all of the other religious text which exist.
That is a point, however, I must now ask a couple of obvious questions. 1. Do you consider the Bible an authoritative source? 2. If someone who considers it an authoritative source, are they wrong for adhering to its tenets?
For myself, 1 (for too many reasons to go into in a comment). For anyone else, then it becomes a personal issue which only they can resolve.
Hmmm…on the first one, all I can give you is the reasons why I consider the Bible an authoritative source and make a case for why you should, too. Anything beyond that is up to you. For the second, I disagree with the idea that it is entirely a personal issue. For one, where do you draw the line? If all it takes for evil to flourish is for good people to remain silent, then where’s the line where you step up and speak out? For another, from where do you derive your sense of morality? Finally, do you regard morality as objective or subjective?
I’m about to go to bed, I have an early day tomorrow, so I’ll wait for now before trying to continue the discussion. I’ll try to get back to this when I have time.
Sounds good to me. I too have an early day. Have a good night.
On the first point, I once thought the bible was an authoritative source for how to live ones life. I have since changed my opinion and I doubt you’ll change my mind.
For the second, If it takes the threat of eternal damnation to keep someone for acting immorally, then they need to take a long hard look at themselves, because someone like that might well be a sociopath or a psychopath.
I would think it obvious everyone has lines they will not cross regardless of what they may be called. (Just look at all the people who consider themselves atheist who have yet to go on a killing spree.)
If I might ask, what was it that changed your mind regarding the Bible? Also, is it possible that you are mistaken regarding the Bible? On the second point, from where do you derive your sense of morality?
Let’s just there is more than one reason, this simply isn’t the place for such a discussion. As for being mistaken… of course I could be, I am human, (despite what some people would like to think), so I make mistakes every day. Unfortunately, there is no way of knowing for sure this side of death and those who know, aren’t talking.
Ah, but one who went to that side of death and came back did speak. You can find His story recorded in all four Gospels, along with the hope that He brought back with Him. I get that this may not be the ideal setting, but I honestly don’t know that an ideal setting truly exists anywhere. The Gospel Message is the most offensive message in history.
Which is a circular argument. If you are inclined to believe the Bible, then you also believe what is written about Jesus and if you don’t, then you won’t and there’s no way to compare with other sources because there aren’t any.
That would be an incorrect assertion, and whoever told you that misled you. The Bible is well attested by both historical, and archeological evidence. Even today there are still archeological digs taking place in Israel that verify what is found in the Bible, and it is the Bible that is being used to guide archeologists to those locations. That the Bible is historically reliable is beyond question as it isn’t just well attested, but also the best preserved of any set of ancient documents. Nothing comes even remotely close.
At present, there are more than 60,000 scrolls, codicies, and fragments being studied and translated. There are tens of thousands of scholars involved in this effort, and the oldest of the documents they have to work with are dated back to the second century. This is enormous because that places those copies within decades of the death of the final Apostle.
To see how amazing that is, consider that Plato’s Republic is the second best preserved, and the oldest copy anyone can put hands on was written 1,200 years after Plato’s death. In terms of preservation, you couldn’t ask for better than what’s supporting the New Testament.
As if that wasn’t enough, the students of the Apostles were very prolific writers. Their writings, known as the Patristic writings, account for millions of pages of text and can be used to indepently reconstruct all but 11 verses of the New Testament. For frame of reference, there are approximately 7,958 verses in the New Testament, of which 11 don’t appear in the Patristic writings. If every single Bible were to disappear from the planet today, we would be able to recreate virtually the entire New Testament from their letters, sermons, homilies, and commentaries, not to mention have a clear picture of how that material is to be understood.
Furthermore, the accounts found in the New Testament can be considered reliable for a number of reasons, not the least of which is that the names and places are supported by the evidence, and the accounts themselves support each other to what can be considered a reliable degree. That the Apostles went willingly to their deaths for refusing to recant their testimonials only serves to further strengthen this.
As for the Old Testament, the New Testament is one set of documents that supports its veracity and preservation. It is joined by the Septuagint, the Dead Sea scrolls, and the Masoretic texts, among a whole host of others, all of which solidly support the Old Testament.
Of course, none of this takes into account extant writings found in the historical record that come from both friendly and unfriendly accounts, and certain elements found within the texts themselves that lend credence to what is contained.
And yet there isn’t any concrete proof of Jesus the Christ having actually existed.
You are misinformed, again. There is more historical evidence of His existence than that of Tiberius the emperor of His day. There are references to Him in Roman, Greek, and Jewish sources, most of which are very unfriendly. He’s referenced by Tacitus, Josephus, and several others, so yeah, there is more than enough evidence to prove that He did exist.
I’m not going to argue with you. Believe what you wish and I will do the same.
Live long and prosper. ❤️
Very well. Be blessed, and may the Lord open your eyes.
I should also note that there is more than enough evidence to demonstrate that the biblical accounts are accurate, which means that there is both a biblical and extra biblical argent for His existence and even Bart Ehrman, one of Christianity’s biggest critics acknowledges this.
Where?
The first bit of Scripture that comes to mind is Deuteronomy 22:5, which says, “The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the LORD thy God.”
The word translated as “abomination” is toebat. The root is toebah, which means “disgusting, an abhorrence, idolatry, an idol”. This is the same term God uses to describe homosexual acts in Leviticus 18, which is something of note because He doesn’t use the term often. Given the list of alternate translations of the word, we’re looking at something that ties in to idolatry, which God speaks to directly in Exodus 20:3-4,
“Thou shalt have no other gods before me.
4Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth: 5Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; 6And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.”
Finally, I’ll wrap it up with Exodus 20:16, “Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.”
To bear false witness is to lie. While many have erroneously interpreted this to pertain to court, as in perjury, when you distill the entire command down it is a clear command against lying.
Genesis 1:27 states that God created us male and female. This verse doesn’t make that statement in a metaphorical sense, it’s rooted and grounded in physical reality. A male declaring themselves female, and vice versa, would be lying in a very real and physical sense. Christians aren’t just forbidden from lying, we’re also forbidden from endorsing or encouraging Sin, no matter the form it takes.
Whether you agree with it or not, that teacher is acting according to the dictates of his conscience and the tenets of his faith.
Then he shouldn’t be in that job. It’s not a lie, if that’s what that child’s name IS. Also, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny…and unless you can prove Gods existence, how do we know God isn’t a lie?
But is it false witness? Are you saying that you speak for God and you know that that child is bearing false witness? Because I believe that it’s only false if God says it’s so. Why would God create trans people if God is SO powerful, are you saying he’s made a mistake?
Maybe trans people and gay people are lessons for Christians. Too learn how to accept and love?
Are Christians saying that we speak for God when we stand on biblical principles? Nope. Not sure where you got that idea. The Word of God stands all on its own, and I would no more defend the Bible than I would a grizzly bear.
When we stand on biblical principles, what we are doing is honoring the laws and commands God put forth through His Word. We aren’t speaking for Him, we’re honoring Him by being obedient to His Word. Among the commands He’s given is the command to speak truth in love, and that’s what we do.
If someone who was born biologically male suddenly decides that he’s female, then that’s a lie. It has no basis in reality. The same goes for a biological female who decides that she’s male. It goes without saying that neither is fully capable of comprehending what the other truly is.
As a man, I wouldn’t dare presume to know or understand what it’s like to be a woman. I lack the anatomical, physiological, and mental capabilities necessary.
The same goes in reverse. No woman can truly ever know or understand what it’s like to be a man. Same reasoning, same physical reality.
What I find the most astonishing is that people don’t get this. Women have this amazing gift, the gift to bring life, and yet will allow a man to pretend to know and understand what it’s like to be a woman. Really? Y’all even play along with what I can only describe as a cheap and caricatured copy of femininity, and for what? In the end it changes little of anything.
If you would be so kind as to share your definition of acceptance and love, I’d be interested to see what you think those two words mean.
As for the existence of God, even I have my limits on what I will cover in a comments section. That’s a very weighty subject, given that entire volumes of books have been written on the topic and have shown no signs of slowing down.
I will, however, write blog posts on the topic. If you are so inclined, I would be happy if you were to check out my blog. I wrote an entire series on apologetics and presented an argument for the existence of God. By all means, check it out at your leisure, and decide for yourself.
Oh and for that “bearing false witness” crap. Is YOUR name really TEP336? If Christians are forbidden from lying, why are you?
Interesting point. Interesting tactic. Can’t refute the argument so you go after the one making the argument? Very interesting indeed. TEP336 isn’t my name, nor do I ever seek to create that impression. It’s the name of my blog, The Ezekiel Project 336, and is a direct reference to Ezekiel 33:6. The purpose to it is to show the reason why my blog exists. Now, if you want me to share my name, that requires trust that you most likely will not earn, most especially considering the conversation we’ve had thus far.
The topics I cover on my blog aren’t popular, and as you’ve indicated, people may decide that my words justify violence. As I’m neither single, nor childless, I must do all I can to protect my family while honoring God’s commands. That’s the sole purpose to my desire for anonymity. I may change my mind later on down the road, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.
Sorry, but I need to jump back into the discussion. I understand the desire to protect your family, I did the same in the beginning. Online is a crazy and dangerous place.
My point of speaking up again is about something else you said which I absolutely disagree with which is the idea that words somehow cannot cause real and lasting harm. Just the opposite is true even if you can’t see the damage you’re doing, it is still there, it still tears a person apart from the inside out and the scars last a lifetime.
You need to understand and appreciate the power you possess and use it responsibly.
Welcome back to the discussion, and thank you for allowing it to continue. Being well aware of the fact that you could simply block me, I am sincerely grateful that you haven’t. I’m also thankful that you chose to engage with me, as many on your side simply choose to ignore me. It goes without saying that it’s folks like you who give me hope for our future as a nation.
I say all of that to say this, I think you’ve misunderstood me. I never said, nor implied, that words cannot cause damage or lasting harm. I did say that they do not justify a physically violent response. Bear in mind that the old “sticks and stones” rhyme was meant to assuage the hurt caused by the words of others, as were old rhymes like, “I’m rubber, you’re glue”, and so on. These are clever devices that were meant to teach emotional self-control to children so that they can later exercise it as adults.
I’ve survived mental and emotional abuse from people who were once close to me, in addition to surviving bullying as a child for being too light skinned, so I know full well the damage words can do. However, my point is that the amount of damage words can do to us is determined entirely by us.
In the unlikely event that you were to call me by a name that did hurt my feelings, the response I would give is entirely up to me, and I have chosen in the past to follow with what Jesus taught, i.e. “Turn the other cheek.” In other words, I choose to pretend that those words were never used and proceed from there. No reprisal, no vengeance.
When you hear hurtful words and choose to respond with physical violence, what you are doing is called vengeance, and turning the other cheek precludes seeking vengeance. Encouraging the same (i.e. violent response) falls into the same category in much the same way as aiding and abetting a wanted criminal in their escape by lying to the police regarding which direction they ran in.
Final point, I don’t worry myself over what people say on the internet. My reasoning is simple. There is very little chance that I’ll ever meet any of my online detractors in person. That combined with the fact that the people I meet online rarely ever become people I befriend in real life means that their opinions of me make little to no difference in how my day goes.
Furthermore, when it comes to being accused of things online, I must always weigh the accusation. If it’s true, why get upset? I’ve simply been called out on something that’s true. If it’s a problem, I need to fix it.
However, if it isn’t true, then why get upset? Getting upset over being falsely accused of something comes naturally to humans, which is where emotional self-control comes into play. If it isn’t true, then there is no reason to justify anger or seek vengeance. 🤷
“the amount of damage words can do to us is determined entirely by us.”
This is one thing which greatly concerns me, the idea that someone can control how something affects them on any level, the damage it actually does, or how long they may find themselves dealing with consequences. It is much the same as saying you can bush off major depression by taking a walk in the woods, which is absurd. For myself and many others, turn the other cheek means nothing more than getting slapped a second time. True, we may not react externally to an attack, instead everything is turned inward, mixed with any combination of issues which have shaped the way we deal with pain, which then become weapons we use to hurt ourselves over and over again. You mention being a survivor of abuse and I applaud anyone who can understand the difference between a survivor and a victim. I too have survived emotional, verbal, physical, and spiritual abuse. Yes, I said “survived” but at the same time I must recognize and deal with decades of memories and emotions I still have to untangle and sort out along with the scares and trauma they have left behind.
As much as I wish it were otherwise, childish retorts have little power against the words and actions of those who we should have been able to trust in moments of need only to have have them betray that trust. Forgive and forget? I have spent half my life trying to forgive but I will never forget. Everything I went through is burned into my memory and soul as deeply and permanently as any scar could ever be and they will remain until I am dead and gone.
Continuing, now that I’ve dealt with the latest of my phone’s shenanigans, there is a very real difference between emotional damage and depression. I’ve dealt with both in the 44 years I’ve spent on this earth, and some of it is something I know won’t ever go away. Nor would I want it to, given that I can use it to both motivate me and help me help others cope with things done to them. It’s also one of the things I can use to speak to the glory and power of the Lord, as He has removed much of that damage from me.
With major depression, you’re dealing primarily with bad chemistry, bad wiring, or both. With trauma, you’re dealing with an internal response to an external stimuli. You can’t ever downplay the effects of either, but you also can’t allow those things to define your entire identity, let alone allow it to control your interactions with the world.
This is one of the biggest problems I’ve seen with people these days. Rather than learn how to rise above the pain that is life, people choose to allow it to consume them. I can’t begin to express how bad an idea that is.
If you allow it to define you and consume you, it will eventually rule over you and you can find yourself perpetuating the same cycle all over again. This is why so many abusive people are the way that they are. It was done to them and they found themselves doing it to someone else, oftentimes unwilling or unable to recognize that they are doing it at all.
One of the reasons why I have taken the philosophical approach that I have is that I recognize that many of the people I encounter in life will be toxic and abusive. Being aware of that goes a long way towards being prepared for it. If I’m prepared, I know how to avoid them where I can and mitigate when I can’t.
For the record, the Bible doesn’t teach that we should forgive and forget, it teaches that we should forgive always and reconcile where possible. No part of that requires us to forget, especially given that we aren’t built that way.
Those childish retorts are meant for children, to deal with the natural cruelty of children. They aren’t meant to prepare children for the horrors that can be found in this world, most especially since they shouldn’t be exposed to the horrors of the world. Parents ought to be a barrier that protects them from the world while allowing them to learn of it from a position of safety. That this isn’t what happens most of the time goes without saying.
The truth of forgiveness is this, there will be times when you will have to forgive those who did you wrong on a daily basis. Never stop doing it. At the same time, don’t allow the damage to rule over you, don’t seek to extract your pound of flesh, and always seek to become a better person than you were five minutes ago. Don’t make the mistake of thinking you can’t ever turn into the ones who hurt you. By the way, there’s none better than God to help you in the endeavor.
All of that being said, my concern is in the real world. If I use my name, I can be doxed, and my wife and kids are too precious to me to risk their lives because some folks out there have zero emotional self-control.
Quick question, did one of my responses disappear, or is it waiting somewhere in the ether? I have two responses to you, and the second much shorter response is showing while the first one isn’t.
I’ll check
Okie
If he can’t follow the secular rules of public school, teach where the rules don’t conflict. Liberals do that all the time. I wouldn’t want that teacher around my child. His closed mind is abuse.
I agree, if you can’t do the job, for whatever reason, then find a different one.
So, you’d be fine with violating your conscience for the sake of a job?
If it became obvious I couldn’t meet the requirements of a job because of my personal beliefs, I wouldn’t take the job to begin with or, as in this case, look for something which is more in line with said beliefs such as working for a religious institution.
Notice, no one is forcing this guy to continue his employment at this school. He has chosen to do so even knowing he may be asked, or required, to do something he objects to.
I see. That’s a good point. However, what happens if you take a job and it later happens that your employer makes policy decisions that go against your moral code? Do you a) walk away or b) seek to effect change of policy?
B. If circumstances become such I cannot in good conscience comply, then it is best to find some place where I need not compromise myself for a paycheck.
Fair enough. Is there a point where you would go the other way?
Probably not 🤔
“dangerous ramifications for the incitement of violence,”
Regardless of where you stand on an issue, this right here could be taken as a threat of violence. While there are things in this world worth fighting for, someone expressing their opinion ought not be seen as a part of that list.
*rolls eyes* I can’t wait until “its just a opinion” dies in the fires of Hell.
Well, at what point would you regard someone’s opinion worthy of a violent response? A line must be drawn somewhere, right?
Well to begin with a opinion is not always based on a fact. In fact, a lot of the time when someone says “It’s just my opinion” or “it’s just a opinion” That’s usually because what they’re talking about isn’t a fact. So as you were saying before, Christians aren’t supposed to lie. Unless you’re opinion is based on fact, than you’re lying.
Many people, especially in the last couple of years have used “well that’s just my opinion” to direct towards hate at others. You don’t have to be physically violent to be violent.
I would draw the line at that teacher degrading that child. That teacher is SUPPOSED to be a person who protects children, not mock them. Not you, not that teacher or anyone on that board, have even thought about that child, once, have you? Not ONE of you talk about the actions and the impact that teacher has had on that CHILD. You in your blabbering about God, haven’t even mentioned what the child must be going through now. Knowing that someone whose supposed to be a “protector” in their life. Will not only NOT protect them. But thinks it’s their “Right” to degrade them too. I personally wouldn’t a selfish, narcissistic person like that around my child. Where else are they putting themselves above my child?
I’d be interested in knowing in what manner it was that the teacher degraded the child? It’s one thing to be honest, though that can cause issues in and of itself, given that people only like truth when it’s comfortable and convenient. It’s another to be intentionally hurtful for no good reason, so if you could demonstrate the manner in which he degraded said child, I’d be willing to consider that point.
You don’t have to be physically violent to be violent, you say? That’s news to me. I grew up with “sticks and stones”, so that’s a foreign concept to me. I was raised with the idea that we determine our own emotional responses to the manner in which people speak or act, which means that one would have to go to some rather ugly extremes to get under my skin. Thankfully, most people are too lazy to go to those types of lengths, though it isn’t unheard of.
The fact of the matter is that logical fallacy does not an argument make, especially when it can be reversed on someone. You’ve very obviously disagreed with me, and it’s very possible that you hold me in disdain and contempt. Should I then assume that you’ve been violent towards me? Not hardly. Words are words, Miss. They can be helpful, uplifting, edifying, or hurtful and damaging. However, at the end of the day, they’re only words. Unless you’re using them to openly advocate some form of violent action, that’s all they’ll ever be.
You’re right, an opinion can be either true or false. This is why I take the time to carefully research each and every issue before forming an opinion without allowing my emotions to become involved. The way I see it, if I don’t know enough about a topic, then I won’t render an opinion on it. Sadly, I suspect that my philosophical approach is very much in the minority.
If I might ask, why does the ability to control how we react emotionally bother you? This isn’t giving someone a pass, it’s making a conscious decision to retain control over self in the face of someone whose seeking to take that away from you in some manner.
Dealing with the damage takes a long time, sometimes a lifetime. This is very much true, however, there are only two things you can do with that dage in the meantime, let it make you bitter or let it make you better. Pain can be one of the best teachers you’ll ever have in life. I’m reminded of a poem I came across not too long ago, entitled,
I walked a mile with Pleasure;
She chatted all the way;
But left me none the wiser
For all she had to say.
I walked a mile with Sorrow,
And ne’er a word said she;
But, oh! The things I learned from her,
When sorrow walked with me.
-Robert Browning Hamilton
Oops…the poem is entitled “I walked a mile with pleasure”. I accidentally hit the send button.
What I get for typing all of this on my phone rather than my laptop. 🤷
Well… the issue is I have been fighting my entire life to deal with depression, anxiety, and host of other no less troublesome issues which have arisen from growing up in an abusive family. A family which did everything possible to show me just unwanted and worthless I was form the moment of my birth and let me tell you, when your own mother tells you “you will never be worth a shit” as she put it, it’s just a tad difficult to shrug it off. When she finds out your expecting and she tells you “you’ll never make a good parent” it’s just a little hard to shrug it off. These are jut two rather small things I was subject to which have burned themselves into my heart and I simply cannot take “responsibility for my own emotions” and pull a forgive and forget moment while packing it away as if it would never jump up at the most unexpected moments to rip my self confidence to shreds.
Look, I’m sorry if this all comes off the wrong way, but every time someone tell me It’s my responsibility to keep things under control. that I should just suck it up and deal with it,
I want to scream. Not everyone is you, not everyone can just pick themselves up and move on as if nothing ever happened or at least live like “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”, not when we have watched everything we are, everything we hope to be, being torn to shred by things we cannot change and will never forget. Seriously, those people are lucky I was finally able to forgive the worst of what they did, not for them but for myself, because if I didn’t I would have been dead a long time ago.
So, yeah, being told my day to day thoughts and actions are really just my fault,(which even if you didn’t mean it that way, it the way it comes across), really bothers me.
I hope you saw that this wasn’t the only response I gave. In case you didn’t, one of the points I made is that it isn’t unusual or unheard of to have to forgive on a daily basis. There are/were people in my life who did hurt me so badly that I do have to forgive anew on a daily basis. That’s simply something that won’t go away no matter how much time and separation you have.
However, I want you to bear something in mind. You said something that is profoundly correct. Forgiveness isn’t meant to benefit the person being forgiven, but rather the person doing the forgiving. Jesus taught that those who refuse to forgive will not be forgiven by the Father, and that is a very strong point. Furthermore, refusing forgiveness can be compared to drinking poison in the hope that the other person dies.
As you seem to be a bit conflicted, allow me to point something out. First, there are times when it is totally acceptable to not be ok. When my mom died, the first thing my stepdad said to my wife was, “Tell me that it’s alright to not be ok.”
Twenty years ago, I had to say something similar to my mom right after one of my sisters committed suicide. I had to tell her that the pain of losing a child never goes away, you just have to learn to live with it. (Don’t ask how I know.)
There will be days when you simply won’t be ok, and that’s to be expected. It’s part of the healing process, even if the wounds take a lifetime to heal.
I’m 44 years old and I still fight with the scars and memories. I can still lash out when I think I’m being done wrong. Despite that, I’m miles away from who I was when I first came to Christ. I’m not who I ought to be, but I’m also not who I was, and I thank God for that, because I can’t make that kind of change on my own. So, it’s ok to not be ok. Just don’t lose sight of the fact that the sun will rise tomorrow no matter how much you hurt.