Time

I’m beginning to think going back to a nine to five job may not be the best path for me. There are some personal reasons but more than them is the problems I’m beginning to have problems driving at night and I’m starting to be concerned it won’t be too much longer before it becomes unsafe.

Also I wonder if this isn’t a sign I need to step off the easier path and follow my heart. I have wanted to create art since I was a child but allowed fear to keep me from following my dreams. 

Maybe it’s finally time to trust myself.

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Report: Georgia Tech Pride President Commits Suicide by Police | Advocate.com

Rest In Peace Scout Schultz.

Report: Georgia Tech Pride President Commits Suicide by Police | Advocate.com:

“Georgia Tech students watched in horror as the school’s Pride president was shot to death by police on the Atlanta campus after the student advanced on them with a knife.

Police had surrounded Scout Schultz after they (the pronoun Schultz used) was spotted on campus with a knife ― witnesses initially said Schultz had a gun and a knife. Schultz ― who identified as bisexual, nonbinary, and intersex ― told police, ‘Shoot me!,’ according to the Washington Post.”

Better

Today was a better day, not as much anxiety and the dysphoria was manageable. 

I read a few articles about depression and emotional abuse which hit close to home, yet I want to read such things to help me understand myself. It’s been said and I believe, knowledge is power. Power to understand, to face my demons, and maybe not defeat them so much as finally being able to live with them.

Fun, fun, fun

I wasn’t able to take one of my anxiety meds for a few days and it caught up with me today.

You have to love having ice in your chest, a creature gnawing at your insides all while fighting nausea, being light headed and a buzzing head ache.

Moving on

Yes, today things didn’t go well, but what’s done is done. I’ll take it as a lesson learned and move on.

Not a Good Day

Well, I blew my interview. I misunderstood most of the questions and so gave answers he didn’t really want or need. I gave too much information and ended up sounding defensive. All in all it felt uncomfortable and disappointing.

I doubt they will be calling back for a follow up interview and I can’t say I would blame them.

Family Needs Over Personal Wants

The good news… I have a job interview tomorrow afternoon.

The bad news… It will be with me presenting as male. All of my documentation still has me as male and anything I will need to sign will have to be with my birth name. 

So essentially, if I get the job, I will need to start my transition over again or perhaps not at all depending on what I find out when I question their policies regarding LGBT issues.

The thing is, I will take the job if it is offered, regardless of the answers.  At this point having money coming in simply more important. As much as I would love to be able to be choosy, it just isn’t realistic.

P!nk – What About Us (Official Video)

A Patient Gets the New Transgender Surgery She Helped Invent | WIRED

A Patient Gets the New Transgender Surgery She Helped Invent | WIRED:

“LIKE MANY OTHER surgery patients, Hayley Anthony has a daily physical therapy regimen. But unlike other post-ops, the 30-year-old marketing consultant is recovering from a procedure she helped invent. Five months ago, she became one of the first people in the world to have a piece of tissue incised from the cavity of her abdomen and turned into a vagina. A surgeon in New York City may have pioneered and performed Anthony’s procedure—but the idea to try it in the first place was all hers.”

What to expect from Hurricane Irma – CNN

What to expect from Hurricane Irma – CNN:

“Packing winds of 130 mph, Hurricane Irma blasted Florida over the weekend, first making landfall in the Florida Keys as a Category 4 storm. The storm made a second landfall hours later as a Category 3 storm on Marco Island, a city and barrier island off Florida’s southwest coast, before weakening again.”