“‘Punishment is not something that happens to bad people. It happens to those who cannot stop it from happening. It is laundered pain, not a balancing of scales.’ —Porpentine Charity Heartscape, ‘Hot Allostatic Load’”
“Today David Satin goes by the name of Barbara Satin. And at 83, she’s making the most of her final years. She works as a transgender activist, helping other people like her come out and find support.
That’s why she is up in arms over a recent change that she says will silence the older transgender community. The Trump administration has eliminated a question on gender identity from the federal government’s annual National Survey of Older Americans Act Participants — which is used to measure the needs of seniors and establish the appropriate services for them.”
“Caitlyn Jenner has announced she is seriously thinking of running for a seat in the United States Senate from California on a Republican ticket, and wants to put LGBT issues on the agenda.”
“African heads of state have endorsed two major new initiatives to help end AIDS by 2030. The community health workers initiative aims to recruit, train and deploy 2 million community health workers across Africa by 2020. The western and central Africa catch-up plan aims to rapidly accelerate access to HIV treatment in the region and close the gap in access between African regions. The initiatives were endorsed at the AIDS Watch Africa Heads of State and Government Meeting, held on 3 July during the 29th African Union Summit in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia.”
“When she’s speaking at campaign events or giving interviews, Danica Roem likes to do this thing with her shoe to show all the hours she’s spent pounding the pavement to meet potential constituents.”
” Voters this November won’t be seeing a ballot measure seeking to roll back Washington’s transgender bathroom and locker room rule.
The group supporting the initiative canceled its appointment to submit petitions Friday afternoon, and said it did not have enough signatures to make the ballot.
Friday was the deadline to turn in signatures to qualify initiatives for the November election.
The group, Just Want Privacy, had been gathering petitions for proposed Initiative 1552.”
“So the question arises: What is the impact of words?”
“I-1552 effectively removes protections for transgender people in restrooms, locker rooms, and homeless shelters. The group behind it is fighting hard to get it on the state ballot.”
(Via. Daily Beast)
First of all, today was better than the last few. A and I got out and about which I am sure helped. One of the problems with dealing with depression, especially when it digs in deep, is the exhaustion. Doing anything physical leaves me feeling as if I haven’t slept in weeks and though I enjoyed being out of the house, I found myself needing to sleep for several hours. Thankfully it was a better rest than I have gotten many nights when it seems as though all I do is toss and turn, unable to get comfortable or to get my brain to shut off.
When I was trying to relax this afternoon a thought came to me that I need to shift the way I think about what happened in the past. Most of the time I have viewed my memories through the lens of being male when the truth is, this was never the way I actually experienced those events. I tend to think of them in terms of what “he” did or said or experienced and not how I did.
Maybe this sounds strange, I’m sure it isn’t how most people think of their past but I think it is the way I do.
I need to think of these things in terms of what I remember, what I experienced, what I thought and felt and stop trying to embrace something I was never able to fully comprehend.
The interesting thing is, I think back on so many instances when I would do something or have a question and I would tell myself everyone else did or thought the same things and yet the thought of asking or talking about them was terrifying. I knew then, as I know now, I was not the same as everyone else and they did not have the same thoughts or questions as I did and they would not understand, so I kept my silence.
So, knowing this, why have I thought I could compare myself to whatever self image I had based those around me?
Remember the saying, “If a fish judges its self compared to a cat and the cats ability to climb a tree, it will always believe it is useless.”
It’s the same thing for me, a trans person, trying to compare myself to a world full of cis people and by the same token, those cis people around me, judging based on their expectations.
It’s no wonder I’ve spent a lifetime thinking I was broken and worthless.