Gender Reassignment

From the Illinois Department of Public Health:

Gender Reassignment

An individual born in Illinois, with an existing Illinois birth record, may submit an application to the Department requesting to have the gender changed on his or her own birth record after undergoing an operation(s) having the effect of reflecting, enhancing, changing, reassigning or otherwise affecting gender. Genital reconstructive surgery is not required to obtain a change in the sex designation on an existing Illinois birth certificate. (emphasis mine.)

Every individual must complete the “Affidavit for a New Birth Certificate After Completion of Gender Reassignment”. The applicant must be of legal age or the parent/co-parent or guardian if not of legal age. This form must be completed in its entirety and notarized.

For individuals who have had an operation(s) in the United States, the “Affidavit by Physician After Completion of Gender Reassignment” must be completed by the physician who performed the operation(s). This form must be completed in its entirety and notarized.

For individuals who have had an operation(s) outside of the United States, the “Affidavit by Physician Verifying Completion of Gender Reassignment Operation” must be completed by an examining physician duly licensed to practice medicine in Illinois or any other state in the United States. This form can also be used if the physician who performed the operation is no longer practicing, is unavailable or his/her license has been revoked or expired. This form must be completed in its entirety and notarized.

For individuals seeking to also have their name changed, a certified copy of the Court Order of Legal Name Change must also be submitted to this office.

The $15 fee to create a new birth record due to gender reassignment includes one certified copy of the new birth record. Additional copies of the same record requested at the same time are $2 each. Please make check or money order payable to the “Illinois Department of Public Health” and send everything to:

Illinois Department of Public Health Division of Vital Records 925 East Ridgely Ave. Springfield, IL 62702-2737  

Please include a copy of your non-expired, government issued photo identification card. If not provided, unreadable or expired, the request will be returned to the individual.


(I need to check, but it seems if I get breast implants, it should be enough to meet the requirements.)

 

A name change is another matter and I will post more information when I’ve researched it more. It does seem the process is the same for everyone, even if you choose a name opposite of your current gender markers.

 

Another issue is going to be insurance. We go through A’s workplace for our health insurance and I wasn’t even thinking what might happen if I change my birth certificate. She will need to see what if anything might change. Of course our marriage would remain valid even if IL hadn’t approved same sex marriage because we were opposite genders at the time of our marriage. Still, it’s good to know it is no longer an issue.

FIL Updated

Its been a long day…

 

Regarding my Father-In-Law.

We are awaiting an official diagnosis, but the doctor is fairly confident he has stage IV lung cancer. At this point it isn’t in the brain but it has spread to the bones, including the spine, and also the adrenal gland. He has started to receive some treatment to slow down the progression, but we all know where this story ends, so it’s a matter of when, not if.

Understandably this has been difficult for the family, especially my Mother-in-law. A is dealing with it as best she can; as she said, there has been enough death in the extended family she kind of knows how to handle things… still, this is her father so I know its been difficult to say the least.

I feel I need to share a little bit from my viewpoint… You see, this is one time when not being close to family members is as much a blessing as a curse. When my mother died, also of lung cancer, it didn’t hit me in the same way as it would had we been closer. It’s true I took some other deaths harder, namely my Grandmother, but it has been long enough now the pain is little more than a distant memory. In some ways I feel as if I am missing something after watching those around me dealing with this sort of pain when I cannot relate to it on the same level. 

So this is where things stand at the moment. I’ll share any additional information as I get it.

A Weight Off My Mind

 

Kira

(How I am going to work tonight)

 

Last night I spoke with a coworker about the things on my mind. The uncertainty, the fears. She had some very good advice and needed thoughts on the possible reactions of our coworkers. 

What came out of this was, unless I were to go overboard, odds are most people will not even notice a small chance such as wearing my enhancers at work. Most people just don’t pay that close attention, which is what I found to be true in most public places…

Part of what is on my side is working third shift. We rarely interact with very many of the professors or students and they have more important things on their minds than the custodial staff. More often than not there is just two of us in the building. My concern has been focused on when we clock in and out. It is when the entire shift is framed into a small pace, though I usually make a point of staying out of the way.

Still, I do remember the last time I thought to gauge the reactions of people regarding Trans people and I cannot say I am not nervous… However, I think back to all of the fears and concerns I have had with each step I have taken and how it has yet to be as bed as I have worried myself sick over… Besides, I know this is what I must do. Living in fear, never trusting yourself or others, is no way to live. It really isn’t and allowing internal forces to hold me back is what caused me so many problems over the years. I’m not entirely past it, but I know my need to live an authentic life now outweighs any fears I have. Trying to take the easy path, to go with the flow, to not make waves, to not stand out isn’t an answer. It isn’t living and it is being dishonest with yourself.

You can only hang on to a falsehood for so long before comes apart and you along with it…

Now, as I said, beginning tonight I am taking the first steps to being my true self, but as someone mentioned, I need to maintain my common sense.

I am going to take small steps just as I have been doing. A shift in my physical appearance. I have already allowed my hair and nails to grow so another small change isn’t going to stand out. There is no need to change the way I have always dressed, jeans, a t-shirt or sweatshirt depending on the weather. A coat or jacket when needed. What I wear away from work is a different matter, but I have been out most weekends and I know what works for me. For now, turtlenecks or sweaters, blue or black jeans. Tennis shoes or low heeled boots.

I haven’t worn a wig for awhile simply because pulling my hair back and wearing a hat works for me.

I’m not big on makeup either. For work it is more trouble than it’s worth and so far I am being seen as female regardless. If there is something special, then I’ll get fancied up, but otherwise why should I? 

On a side note, A rarely wears makeup and neither do most of the women at work, so it I fit right in.

On the matter of names…

This is a little more difficult because I would really prefer being called Kira, but I have been at this job since 1997 and all this time I have only been known by my birth name. I can’t and don’t, expect everyone to suddenly shift gears and call me something else. Same with pronouns. Yes, it’s annoying, but I can live with it for the moment. The future my hold something different.

I eventually plan on legally changing my name and hopefully my gender markers, but that is for the future and I’m not going to stress out about it now… I have enough on my plate already.

What will I do if there is an issue? I really don’t know. I could think up a thousand plans but none of them would matter in the moment. I just have to keep my eyes and ears open.

Really, what else can I do?

Hopefully things will go smoothly and over the coming months and years I will come to be seen as who I am and not who I was.

Watch MSNBC’s Melissa Harris-Perry Cover Transgender Issues The Way They Should Be

In a refreshing contrast to the problematic and often transphobic coverage provided by other media outlets, MSNBC host Melissa Harris-Perry used her eponymous show to allow a transgender woman to tell her own story in a segment that highlighted the importance of letting transgender people speak for themselves.

Source: MediaMatters

We’re Only Going This Way Once.

I’m sitting here waiting for a fresh pot of coffee to finish brewing. When it does, I am going to get the Bailey’s out and make an Irish coffee. I’m hoping it will sooth my sore throat since Vicks quit adding alcohol to Nyquil.

This seems to be the yearly punishment for being the parent of three boys. If there is an illness in the news, you can be your going to get it sooner than later.

Okay, enough of the pity party, coffee’s done and this seems little more than an average cold…

uumm Irish coffee….

Oh, where was I?

Yes, I caught a cold. Yesterday I was feeling lousy and half expecting to have caught one of the nastier flu bugs, which is why I took the easy way out and just posted music videos and then went to bed.

Oh, and because with the exception of Gary Numan, these were songs I had recently discovered and wanted to share, though I had planned to post one a day over an entire week instead of all at once… the best laid plans of mice and all that jazz….

I do hope people found something they liked.

One bad thing about being sick is I had to cancel my therapy appointment for this morning, I didn’t want to pass this along to anyone else, so it will be another week before I have another session scheduled. 

The truth is, nothing terrible has happened this week, which is sort of sad when I think about it and really shines a light on the way I use to measure my life not so long ago. I do have my little ups and down, but everyone has those… it’s… wait for it….

Normal!

OMG!

I am actually beginning to like the word.

Normal.

Normal!

I can even type it without cringing or wanting to spit as if I had tasted something foul…

BTW, tomorrow I probably won’t remember this post and even if I do I’ll blame it on the alcohol. (That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!)

I’ll give you an example of what I’m talking about. At one point today I had one of those sneaky negative thoughts come along… “If it looks like a duck; if it walks like a duck; if it quacks like a duck, then it is probably a duck.”

If you can’t guess, this is a reference to how I see my gender issues from time to time. Before the would have begun a downward spiral of thoughts and emotions which fed on each other until I was so buried in my own head I couldn’t see daylight.

No now. Not today.

The thought was broken by what popped into my head… “except for the ugly duckling. Sometimes everyone gets it wrong.”

Living a double life in so many ways isn’t easy, no matter how noble the intentions. My time is broken up through out the day I often have little chance to do anything for myself before the kids start returning from school and while I know now the way I look isn’t a problem for them, I do have to be out with the neighbors when the busses arrive and I’m not ready to deal with any of them just yet, so it’s just unadorned me out and about. It’s the same at work, and though I have been doing this for several years now, it still bothers me on a number of levels and truly aggravates me when I think I have to hide in plain sight because some people could never handle the truth… Small minds, small hearts….

Anyway, as long as this continues to be the life I lead, then I have to expect more ups and downs, more times of doubt and fear.

More times when I just want to give up.

Yet they pass.

They pass.

In the end I realize I am who I am and nothing is going to change this simple truth.

Would I like to be myself all the time? Of course.

Would it reduce my stress levels? Yes and no. Going full time has its own issues to be dealt with which I cannot simply dismiss. It would be rather dishonest of me… at leas to myself and if you can’t be honest with yourself, then who can you be?

On the other side is how I am feeling more and more free each day. There is a weight lifted from my chest and I can breather easier than ever before. I find even in the darker times, in the middle of the night, things seem brighter, less immediate, and not as insurmountable. 

No matter what I find myself smiling more, sometimes for no other reason than I feel like it. Yes there are tears and sometimes I don’t even know why they are there, but it’s fine. They are welcome.

You know, there are days when I feel as if I am simply floating in the river of life, being carried wherever the current takes me and I look at the sky above and think I haven’t moved at all, then I look at the world around me and realize miles have slipped past while I wasn’t paying attention.

I have said before, two steps forward, one back but it really sin’t like that at all. I am constantly moving forward even when I think I haven’t moved at all.

A thought which came to mind this week was this…

Every second is brand new, every step takes us into the unexplored. Every tick of the clock is a new universe because not matter how many times we may think we have walked the same path, it isn’t. Not really. There will always be something different from the last time even if it the play of single stand of hair in a shifting of the air. Every breath is different than the last and can never be repeated.

So why not seek to make the most of each second, every breath, that next step no matter where it is leading us?

We’re only going this way once.