Nervous breakdown and mental breakdown are dated terms describing emotional or physical stress that temporarily makes someone unable to function in day-to-day life.
There are days when you awake and think, today is going to be a good day and it is. A day when sadness and pain won’t dull the light in your eyes. When a sound, color, song or memory doesn’t threaten to crush the breath from your lungs or leave you on your knees without the strength to stand. A day when you can lay your head on your pillow and not fear falling asleep for the darkness which awaits.
Then there are the other days.
The ones where just opening your eyes takes so much effort it leaves you exhausted. Days when the smallest things sends your heart racing in fear. The ice of panic swelling in your chest until you can’t catch a breath. Times when you cannot understand why you’re alive at all, wondering if God hates you so much He takes pleasure in your pain. Everything in your life seems so pointless, meaningless. When every word you speak, every action you take does nothing but cause pain to those around you. Life becomes an ocean in which your drowning and you know no one else can see your struggles or hear the cries for help which remain locked in your throat.
And you never know which it is going to be today.
After receiving a diagnosis of major depression, you might feel relieved to have a name for your emotional pain and you might feel overwhelmed about the treatment at hand. However, you’re not alone. Between 10 and 25 percent of women and 5 to 12 percent of men will have a major depressive disorder in their lifetime.
Depression has no face, so recently one guy from Russia decided to show his, for a chilling reason. Recently, u/MufasaQuePasa posted his picture to a subreddit called r/RoastMe, a notorious community specializing in saying the nastiest things about people they can think of. “17-year-old Russian with crippling depression,” he wrote. “Give me a reason to end it all.” Surprisingly, this time was different. Everyone went against community rules, trying to explain to the guy why he should keep on fighting. Continue scrolling to check out the heartwarming responses that will restore your faith in humanity. At least for today.
Over the past several months I found myself pushing little by little toward continuing to transition even when I believed I had finally given up. It was always something small, using my name instead of my birth name to set up an awards account at a store I rarely shop at, asking different doctors offices to use it as well and then the big one…
(I am trying to get Social Security disability because I am no longer able to work due to anxiety and PTSD. Though even in this I am having difficulty doing what they ask of me, just looking at the paperwork they sent sets off a panic attack…)
regardless, I made the point to request they use Kira instead of my birth name. While I understand the official paper work needs to have the old name, I made it clear I prefer to be addressed by my actual name and female pronouns.
So far everyone as been very understanding and accommodating for which I am very grateful.
So now I suppose I have a known alias…