Went to my doctors appointment today. The main reason was for my oldest to get a consult which resulted in him having a new medication to try which will hopefully help him maintain calm after his other medicine has worn off for the day. We’ll see how things go. The second reason was so I could get blood drawn for lab work needed to monitor my BP meds.
While we were there we discussed my being Trans and the issues I need to deal with now. We talked about my dysphoria and the understanding I now have regarding the need for HRT. I’ll get back to the dysphoria in a second… As for HRT, he told us he wasn’t comfortable trying to treat me as he had no experience with the treatment plan, nor did any of the other doctors he has spoken to. He said he didn’t want to chance possibly causing me harm because of his inexperience and I have to respect his feelings on the matter. I did tell him I was going to seek out someone who could deal with this and he completely agreed. Better he said, to go with a specialist. I also let him know, for now, I wanted to lee him as my primary doctor for my other health issues and he is fine with doing so. So, I won’t be staying local like I was still half hoping, but at least I know bester where I stand at the moment. We’ll take our time and do more research into who is available and who will work with our insurance. At least I am still moving forward even if it isn’t exactly the way I had thought.
Now back to the dysphoria… Both A and I were in speaking with the doctor and when I was searching for the right way to describe what I was experiencing, A stepped in and spoke about her observations of how this is affecting me and she said a lot of things which surprised me because I thought I wasn’t being as obvious as I now know I have been. She spoke of my reactions, my demeanor, my moods. This is something which can be seen in every aspect of my personality. I know the saying about the forest and the trees, but it takes sitting and listening to someone else describe you to really open your eyes to the truth of it.