Questioning

Questioning dog

 

No, I am not questioning myself here, more I seeking my place within the TG/TS framework both online and off.

Where I live isn’t a hot bed of activism and social decent. For the most part people here only relate to what they have seen or heard on the news or opinion radio so you can imagine some of the conversations I have overheard. I’m not an eavesdropper but some of these people are like the annoying guy in the restaurant who thinks everyone should listen to his side of the conversation. 

Anyway, the point is, there isn’t a network of people and organizations I can look up to find others like myself or any LGBT folk in general. At least none who I would be comfortable striking up a conversation with. There aren’t any PFLAG offices or other services aimed at the trans community. After doing some research I found there was a short time when such individuals and groups existed locally, but the last traces of them faded out in 2009. 

There was another group nearby, about a half hour drive, but they also have disbanded due to lack of participation. As Jodi pointed out, it’s a good sign when a group disbands because it is no longer needed, but it can problematic for those like myself who are a little late getting to the party.

It has be suggested trying to form a new support group locally. Jodi has mentioned it more than once and I am in full support of her efforts. What I’m not sure of is where I would fit in. I’m not a very good organizer, and pubic speaking, while not impossible, is difficult especially when I’m not familiar with the audience.

I am more than willing to speak to others about my own experiences and to offer what support I can. I’m certainly not an expert, but I can certainly empathize with what others are facing. 

While I feel doing things here, in person is important, indeed, vitally needed, through the internet my reach is much further. As important as sharing my own personal story is, I feel there is so much more I can do…

I’m just not sure what it may be or even how to start moving in the direction I need to in order to make any sort of meaningful impact in the lives of my brothers and sisters.

A Girl In A Strange Land

NewImage

 

I recently read an article talking about being Transgender. The article itself was interesting, but it was one of the comments that really got me thinking.

The main thrust of the comment was that Trans people are like immigrants. 

Just as immigrants find themselves living in a land they cannot fully understand and which does not fully understand them, we too are surrounded by people who we cannot truly understand and who can never fully understand us. No matter how much we may have in common with one another, there will always be a point beyond which we remain alien to one another.

The example here is of someone who has fled their war torn country to one where the people have never experienced conflict first hand. There may be many commonalities, but they are meaningless when one gets down to life experiences.  How can a war survivor explain what it is like to live in constant fear of death, their death, the death of a friend or loved one. the death of a child, to someone who’s worst fear is being late to work? They may listen, they may want to understand, but the experience is forever beyond them. And then for the survivor, they will never be able to imagine a world which is seen as safe and secure, a world where pain, suffering, and death is not hidden just out of sight.

For those who have never questioned their gender identity, it is impossible to understand how or why someone would do so. To them the idea of questioning themselves in such a manner simply sounds crazy. After all, it’s just a matter of looking at yourself to see that your either male or female. As far as their concerned, it really is as simple as that.

For those who do question, who do see themselves as being the wrong sex, it is really impossible, deep down, to imagine a life where these questions have never been asked. A world free from the doubts, the confusion and pain. They may think about it, dream about it, but there will always be a point past which they cannot fully understand because it is beyond their experience.

A point at which they truly are strangers in a strange land.