Why is it so easy to accept negative thoughts and emotions without question then turn around and deny anything positive without any reflection whatsoever?
I started writing here as a way to help in attempting to bring some order to the chaos in my head. In the beginning I knew there were serious problems, but really, I didn’t understand anything.
Now all these years later, it seems as though I understand even less.
It has been a long path which has brought me back to where I began.
Been another long day, just going to pick up something for dinner and call it a night.
Sometimes there are things you want to get out but they seem so heavy, you feel as though the air is being crushed out of you and you can’t catch your breath no matter how hard you try.
For far too long I have been struggling with this, which is why I have been working so hard to find articles and other content just so I can maintain having at least one post a day. It also gives me a reason to push through. This may seem silly or pointless, (and to many it probably is), yet for me any thread I can cling to, no matter how small, pointless, or silly is often just enough to keep the darkness at bay.
It doesn’t help that much of this are things I have gone over and over again only to find myself right back at the beginning and by this point I’m sure everyone is sick of hearing about it. God knows I am sick and tired of thinking about any of it.
I know this is vague and I am sorry about that but this is as far as I push myself tonight.
Doing computer maintenance.
Good to say, you should remain silent.
Our new fridge was delivered today so I had to get the old one out, scrub the floor and rearrange furniture to get the new one in. Then brought it in with a little help from my middle son and had to rearrange the kitchen again to it fit.
Now I feel like I’ve been beat half to death.
It hasn’t been a very good day, my depression and anxiety have been up. Not sure what set me off but I hope some sleep will help.