Personal

Ugh!

Car broke down on the way home, (on an off ramp). Had to call the police (to keep from being run over) and a tow truck. All told it took just over two hours to get us and the car back home.

Advertisements
Standard
Personal

Waiting for the walls to come down…

Today has been very difficult to say the least. I have been having trouble with both of our cars, (pretty much just two beaters with heaters). One is barely running, constantly wanting to die without any warning. The other we just managed to get running after having replaced the alternator ans a leaking oil sensor. Stupid me, I got ahead of myself and took it out today only to find out I needed to replace the power steering fluid after almost taking out a telephone pole, then had to refill the transmission fluid followed by almost blowing up the engine because I forgot to check the coolant and the radiator was bone dry. Add to all this nearly getting into several accidents because I wasn’t focused on driving.

At this point I am beyond giving up. Everything I touch falls to sh*t and the very air I breathe is turned to poison. I do everything wrong and hurt everyone around me.

All I can do to change now is break.

Standard
Personal

Lost in transition

It’s been a while since I last wrote something personal. Too often it seems as if I have too many thoughts and emotions which overwhelm me and leave me unable to convey them into writing.

This has also left my mind a foggy mess where I no longer know where I am or worse where I need to go. My transition has come to complete standstill. I am questioning everything and I feel I cannot trust myself any longer.

I look at the people around me and feel as if I have failed them. I have become more of a burden than I am worth and it doesn’t tale a genius to see how much damage I have caused which I can never repair.

Standard