“LIKE MANY OTHER surgery patients, Hayley Anthony has a daily physical therapy regimen. But unlike other post-ops, the 30-year-old marketing consultant is recovering from a procedure she helped invent. Five months ago, she became one of the first people in the world to have a piece of tissue incised from the cavity of her abdomen and turned into a vagina. A surgeon in New York City may have pioneered and performed Anthony’s procedure—but the idea to try it in the first place was all hers.”
“A transgender woman who escaped abuse in Chechnya and found asylum in America is speaking truth to power in Washington in hopes of helping others, even if it means putting herself at risk all over again.”
“The UK’s first mental health helpline offering emotional support and information to people who identify as transgender, non-binary or gender-fluid has been rolled out nationwide, with project leaders confident the pioneering scheme will become a permanent fixture as of early 2018.”
“Republican Gov. Bruce Rauner on Friday signed into law measures to ban the so-called gay panic defense in criminal proceedings and make it easier for transgender people to change the sex listed on their birth certificates, but he vetoed a bill that bars potential employers from asking job applicants about their previous salary.”
“‘The political climate is a catalyst to our danger,’ said Ms. Paige, 58, who lives in Lake Worth, Fla., and is a buyer for a company that manufactures ventilation systems for ships. ‘Generally, people want to see you as male or female. Nothing in-between seems to be acceptable.’”
I had a therapy session today which thankfully went well with us being able to clear up a number of misunderstandings.
We talked about what I had written the past several days and I think we can work forward on a number of issues which while not being directly tied to my transition are things which are holding me back in this and many other areas of my life.
It’s amazing and terrifying how things from a lifetime ago can still hold such power over us in ways we might not be aware of. For me there were years of abuse on multiple levels, many of them on a daily even hourly basis. Emotional, phycological, spiritual, and physical which culminated in me trying to do the impossible… to take responsibility for others happiness. It also lead directly to my identity issues, my feelings of failure, of never being good enough or being worthy of happiness. These are the things which aren’t going to disappear even if I was able to fully transition this very moment. If I want to move beyond simple survival to truly living the life I know deep down I deserve, I must overcome them.
This isn’t going to be simple, quick, or painless, none the less it is something which I must to do and I’m going to need someone who has gained an understanding of my background, who has seen and heard the way I think and the ways I deal with crisis, which is why I feel it best to stay with Jodi instead of having to start over again with someone new.
There are times when no matter how hard I try, the words I want to say slip away like mist before the morning sun. I have spent days on end trying to find them, those words which would describe where I am at this moment in a way others could understand when even I cannot always understand myself.
One way is imagine yourself standing at the edge of a pool with jet black water where there aren’t any depth markers so you have no way of knowing how deep it is… (oh, and you can’t swim.) At the same time there is a wall, covered in spikes, razor blades, and all sorts of nasty, painful things just a hairs breath behind you, steadily moving closer, forcing you to make a choice, jump in or try and go back over that wall (which you climbed just to get to this point.)
Looking from the outside it may seem the answer would be obvious.
From the inside it you know it is anything but obvious, simple, or easy.
I know all too well the price for climbing that wall. I know what awaits me on the other side just as I know at some point in the future I would find myself back in this exact spot.
This has been a long road… One which stretches from this moment back to some of my earliest memories. It traverses a life full of doubts and fears, of questions and answers I have tried desperately to forget. A lifetime of running from the truth.
Now I have reached the point where there no place to run. I am standing at the threshold between who I was and who I might become and I won’t lie to you, I have never been so scared.
When I read this, there was so much I identified with, until the end. I realize I haven’t reached the point where I can say I want to live, not where it matters, not in my heart.
“Mila Madison reflects on her journey, facing fear, and reaching the next step in her transition in “The Weekly Rant”.
“On Wednesday morning, Donald Trump tweeted an announcement that trans people would no longer be able to serve in the United States military.
The response was overwhelming from across the political spectrum. But the fact of the matter is that trans people have always contributed to civic life and collective security — what has changed, however, is popular acknowledgment of it.”
(Via. All That’s Interesting)