01/17/22

Yesterday’s post was almost a place holder. There were things I wanted to write about but I was mentally exhausted and couldn’t bring things into focus so I decided to share the one thought which was stuck in the forefront of my thoughts as much because they held a strength I wanted as much as they were an overwhelming truth I couldn’t deny or avoid.

You see, for much of my life I brushed off thoughts, hopes, and dreams because they didn’t fit the narrative I had been taught to follow. Because they seemed so far removed from my reality they could never come true, because following them became too painful.

I’m sure I have spoken of some of the things which have weighed on me over the years, those brief moments of breathless wonder when the words ‘what if’ would blaze across my thoughts. To take the image in my mind and make it a reality. To be who I knew myself to be in the eyes of another and be accepted. To leave the shadows and walk in the sun.

Well, as they say, ‘be careful what you wish for, you might get it.’

This became my stumbling block, my nemesis.

I’ve had my questions answered, curiosity cured. What I found was more than I could have hoped for or imagined and it scared the living hell out of me.

I found peace, happiness, and a piece of myself I felt would never be found. At the same time I found pain, sorrow, and shame. You see, following my heart only lead to hurting others, (or at least this is what I was told time and again.) By doing so I was being selfish, self centered, even cruel. My happiness had to be bought at the price of another’s.

My dreams for theirs.

In this I felt it was better to give up on my own dreams. To crush them as soon as they arose so others could see theirs come true.

Oh, and if they didn’t, well that was my fault too.

What I’ve been asking myself is what happens when I’ve done everything I could to bury every bit of myself, to lock it in a deep hole and try to forget and it keeps coming back? Each time a little stronger, a little more insistent until it refuses to be ignored?

It leaves a person in a difficult place to say the least.

(No, this isn’t an ending, but a beginning.)

~Kira Anne Moore

Trans People Are Sharing These 40 Memes To Talk About The Struggles They Run Into

Trans People Are Sharing These 40 Memes To Talk About The Struggles They Run Into

The internet is filled with wonderful things and nothing defines our use of it as clearly as the concept of the meme. Recently, they have become as powerful as language itself, covering literally any topic you can think of—from cute and comfy animal jokes to expressions of your own identity.

Enter the r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns subreddit (or r/traa for short), a place where transgender people can make fun “of themselves, others, and the situations they find themselves in.” Known as one of the most legendary trans-centered communities, it is dedicated to posting meaningful content ranging from serious, to relatable, to completely hilarious.

Anti-Trans Violence and Rhetoric Reached Record Highs Across America in 2021

Anti-Trans Violence and Rhetoric Reached Record Highs Across America in 2021

2021 was the deadliest year for transgender and gender non-conforming people in the U.S. on record. At least 50 trans and gender non-conforming people were killed this year alone, per a report by LGBTQ advocacy organization the Human Rights Campaign (HRC)—the highest number of deaths since the organization began recording fatal violence in 2013.

The report makes clear that the full number of fatalities is likely much higher still; the deaths of trans and gender non-conforming people are often underreported, and the victims themselves are often misgendered. (At least 24 of those listed in HRC’s report were initially misgendered by the media or police.)

12/23/21

You know, one of these days I might actually figure out what it takes to write post which would garner a reasonable number of visitors with meaningful interactions. Of course I really don’t se it happening, after all, I’ve been writing here for years and I still have no idea what I’m doing.

Be that as it may, that wasn’t the point of wanting to post today, or really any other one for that matter. My entire intention was to simply show someone who needed it, they weren’t alone in dealing with some insane things in their life and no mater how bad it might seem, there was always someone who, if not understand, then at least relate. I don’t know if I have ever come close to succeeding, but I hope maybe, in some small way all my endless jabbering as had a positive effect.

I’m saying all of this because I am facing yet another anniversary where the only real change is in the number of wrinkles and grey hair while the reflection mocks the lack of anything of significance.