Things have not been going well. While a day starts half way decent, it doesn’t take long before it starts going down hill and the longer it goes, the worse it gets until I crawl into bed exhausted. What’s worse is seeing and hearing how the kids are reacting to anything I do negativity. What I say, how I say it, why I say it. The look on my face or the way I carry myself; everything ends up hurting everyone around me.
I wonder how it will end this time.
I don’t know what, if anything, I could have written tonight but every time I try to work on this something comes up to interrupt and I’ve been left staring at an empty page. Now I’m at the point where I no longer have the energy to even try.
Had storms roll through earlier, lots of lightning and rain so I stayed off the computer. Better safe than sorry right?
Another day of doing yard work, this time for our neighbor who has an empty lot next to us which was designed by Satan when his hemorrhoids were flaring up.
Then my youngest had a bad turn when he accidentally spilled water on his keyboard and then the headphones decided to die a painful, squealing death which required a trip to Target for replacements.
Here’s hoping the rest of the night will be quieter!
More to do than time to get it done but was myself the whole day. I just need to remember how much more relaxed and comfortable I am this way and to stop being so hard on myself.
Everything I touch falls to ruin.
It seems all of the gains I made have been lost.
Spoke with my therapist this past Wednesday. Although I had some difficulty explaining what’s been going on, she understood well enough to have a suggestion,
Just try to make it through the week until my next appointment and concentrate on not hitting bottom.