It’s still my Saturday which means I had another therapy session this morning. Sometimes I look back at how things went, what we discussed and I wonder how we got onto some of the subjects we did.. yet, not matter what I feel as if I have achieved something, even if it is small, some bit more of understanding who I am. Being able to talk with someone about all the things in my head has been a bigger help to me than I thought it would be. I have made progress in learning how to deal with issues when they come up, in redirecting the negative energy into more positive channels. Though it doesn’t always work and there are time when I am blindsided by sudden downturns r like this week when it has been one thing after another, each pulling me a little deeper into the darker side of my mind…
Part of the issue is there still many scars which have never fully healed and a lot of anger I have yet to deal with. So much I have dealt with as I have time and again, pushing it down until it is out of sight… out of sight, out of mind, right? No really of course, it just finds some little nook to hide in and deter until it can either undermine my confidence or explodes in some unexpected way. I don’t know yet how to deal with these things, but maybe with time I will…
I suppose it shouldn’t be a surprise to find once you decide to face your issues you would find a daunting amount of baggage which often seems impossible to deal with and overcome. Yet this is exactly what I need to do. It will be a matter of breaking it down into manageable pieces and working through things one step at a time. The difficult thing is getting a grasp on the size of the problem and then coming up with a plan…
And time.