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The Sleepwalker

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image found at: iglimpseandsparkle.tumblr.com

 

 

Before we know it the new year will be upon us and it seems this is the traditional time when everyone and their sister is doing a “Year In Review”. You see them every where, online, on the television, magazines and even news papers if you still read one of those. They cover everything you can imagine, some informative, some funny, and some somber. From new gadgets, news stories, important people, and of course list after list of those who we lost over the past 356 days.]

I’m not going to do such a post, there are so many already and I’m sure they cover anything and everything I might want to list myself. But I am taking a few moments to think back and, taking a breath, seeing just how much things have changed. I spoke of this yesterday, how difficult it is to see personal changes, and that is an issue. However, it doesn’t take much to realize the fact that at the time I couldn’t see past all the things raging through my mind, to the point I often couldn’t see more than an hour at a time. I don’t know how many times I was surprised by the time that had past, not just at home but at work a well. There is a song by Photek called “Sleepwalking” which when I first listened seemed to speak to how i had been living for so many years… 

Three months is a long time,

If you don’t like where you are…

Three months is forever,

When the sun don’t shine at all…

You might be alive or you just

Breathe to pass the time…

But your so lucky,

So lucky to have it all…

Someday your gonna realize,

You’ve been sleepwalkin’ through it all,

You’ve been sleepwalkin’…

To get back home…

Someday your gonna realize,

You’ve been sleepwalkin’ through it all,

You’ve been sleepwalkin’ through it all,

To get back home…

 

Many things have happened this past year, some good, some bad, some unexpected, yet the the one thing I will always take with me is the understanding that more than anything, I have a awoken from a long period in which I was sleepwalking. Just going through the motions of living without having lived at all. 

I find I am awake now, so much more aware of what it means to be truly alive. 

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